Honour, Duty or Love?
by JadeHeart
Summary: Why do you choose to stay with the people around you?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators, nor am I making any profits

"Hey, big brother!"

The shrill cry made Kougaiji turn to see Lirin running at full tilt towards him. He put a hand out which she grabbed immediately, almost swinging from it with joy. As he looked down upon her small cat-like face, eyes sparkling brightly, broad smile showing gleaming canines, he felt his heart soften as it always did around his little sister.

"How have you been, Lirin?" he asked as he walked with her by his side, still grasping his hand.

"Bored!" was the brief answer.

"Why? What have you been doing?"

"Oh, nothing really," Lirin answered absently, almost snuggling into his side. For her, her big brother was her entire world. When everything else failed she knew that his love would never fade. That was her one and only constant. "There's been no-one to play with so I've been just soooo bored!"

"Well, Dokugakuji had to accompany me, but what about Yaone?" He suddenly felt a brief flash of concern. Had Ukoku got his hands on her again somehow? If he had, that bastard would wish he was dead and he didn't give a shit if he was his stepmother's pet scientist!

"Oh, she went off to see if she could keep an eye on Sanzo and the others," Lirin said, letting go of his hand and skipping ahead.

Kougaiji stopped in his tracks. "Oh? Really?"

"Yeah," Lirin looked over her shoulder at him before turning fully and bouncing up and down for a moment. "She said that way she would be able to tell you where they were when you got back and that would save time." Lirin gazed upwards, gnawing on one long sharp nail. "Come to think of it, she has been gone a long time. I thought she would have been back sooner. She did say she wouldn't be gone long."

She suddenly ran back to her brother's side, looking up at him earnestly. "Do you think something's happened to her?"

Kougaiji kept his features schooled into a calm expression even though he was experiencing the first touches of anxiety. He reached out and ruffled his sister's hair. "Don't worry. I'm sure she's fine. Yaone's a very capable fighter." He began to walk again. "Come on. I'm famished so let's have lunch together."

"Yippee!!" Lirin squealed, breaking away in a run, her worry forgotten in the face of her brother's reassurances and the thought of food.

If only I could be so easily distracted, Kougaiji thought, following, still pondering what Lirin had told him. Where was Yaone? Why hadn't she returned yet?

"Well, this is an awkward situation, don't you think?" Hakkai calmly said, trying not to crowd his companion.

"Yes, you could say that. Very awkward." Yaone replied just as calmly.

Hakkai turned his head and gave a small smile. "I guess that means that we will have to make the most of the situation. Although I'm sure that we will both be suitably chastised by our respective leaders for our foolishness."

Yaone acknowledged him with a small smile of her own. "I'm sure you are right."

"Although," Hakkai continued, turning his face away and looking out at the rain cascading past the hollow's mouth where they huddled. "I'm certain that your Lord Kougaiji won't express his dissatisfaction with your misbehaviour by trying to shoot you!"

Yaone gave a small low laugh. "No, you are quite right. I will no doubt just be severely scolded."

"Ah, what I wouldn't give for a good scolding! You know," Hakkai turned back to her. "Traveling with Sanzo can be very hazardous to one's health in more ways than one."

"He does seem rather..." Yaone tried to search for a polite word. "Volatile." she settled for.

"Oh, that he most certainly is." Hakkai agreed readily. "But I guess that's just what makes it all the more interesting."

Yaone studied her partner as he turned his gaze forward once more. "Why do you travel with them?" she asked quickly before her tongue froze with indecision. It was a question she had often wondered of this man but had never had the courage, much less the opportunity to actually ask.

"Hmm?" Hakkai looked at her absently. "Why? Well," He scratched at his cheek a little self consciously, smiling. "That is probably the burning question, isn't it?" He looked steadily at her. "Can I ask the same of you?"

"Me?" Yaone was startled. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you fight for Kougaiji?" Hakkai asked.

"Because he is my lord." she replied quickly, feeling her face flush a little.

"Is that enough?" Hakkai asked softly.

Yaone dropped her eyes. It was unfortunate they were in such cramped quarters so she was unable to move further away. "Yes. I believe it is." she finally replied, her voice low but firm.

There was silence for a moment then Hakkai said, "Ah. I guess that is enough then."

The silence returned.

Yaone peered up from beneath lowered lashes to see Hakkai gazing out at the weather once more, a faint frown on his brow. "So what about you?" she bravely asked again.

He turned his head, his dark eyes capturing hers and she felt as though she were pinned in place, unable to move, so intense was his gaze. He blinked and their power faded, so she found she could breathe once more.

"I could be trite and say it was simply something to do, and that I had nothing better to do with my time." Hakkai's short laugh held a touch of bitterness that surprised her. "That actually would be the truth when it all comes down to it. But," He returned his gaze back to the rain. "That doesn't answer why I am still with them, does it?"

There was silence again, broken only by the steady stream of falling water.

"You know," Hakkai said softly. "I envy you. You have such faith in Kougaiji, and yourself. It is like you are all…family."

Yaone was surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation. It flustered her, yet also made her heart fill with pleasure. "You really think so?" she said a little breathlessly.

"Yes, I do." Hakkai turned back to her, smiling warmly. "All of you; Kougaiji, Dokugakuji, yourself, even little Lirin, it seems like you are all from one family. Your feelings for each other are so evident that complete strangers could tell that, right from the start. I know I did." His smile deepened. "That's nice."

"Aren't you the same?" Yaone asked.

"Me?" Hakkai seemed taken aback.

Yaone nodded. "Yes. You and the others. You all seem very close as well."

Hakkai chuckled. "That is more from sufferance, I assure you!"

She shook her head, long braids flapping against his back. "I don't think so," she said firmly. "I've seen you all fight together. You watch out for each other, no matter what is happening, or who or what you are up against. If there is no-one else in this world you trust, you trust each other."

"Trust?" Hakkai's expression was quizzical. "You really think that?"

Yaone didn't know if he was deliberately trying to not understand or truly didn't realize it himself. Could this man who was so intelligent in other ways be so obtuse in this?

"Yes, I do." she stated. "You treat Goku like a little brother, just like Kougaiji treats Lirin. Gojyo is like your best friend," She smiled at him. "Which really doesn't surprise me since that is what Dokugakuji is to Lord Kougaiji, even if neither of them would admit it!"

"And what about Sanzo?" he queried, amusement in his voice.

She smiled back at him. "You treat him like a crotchety old grandfather!"

Hakkai couldn't stop the involuntary laughter that escaped him. "Oh, that I will have to remember to tell him!" he said, wiping away a few tears of suppressed mirth. "Though, on second thoughts, perhaps I won't. I don't think he would see the humour in it, although I'm sure Gojyo would!"

Yaone felt pleased with herself in being able to truly make the normally so controlled Hakkai laugh so uninhibitedly. Too often his smiles seemed false, his humour put on. He was an enigmatic man with hidden depths that tweaked her curiosity, tempting her to try and find out more, to plumb those dark pits. Yet instinctively she drew away a little as the feelings of danger would ring warning bells each time she tried to move closer to those secrets. There was far, far more to Cho Hakkai than met the eye.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Eh?" She was startled, caught completely off guard by his sudden question, her eyes wide as she looked up at him.

He smiled back reassuringly. "Kougaiji. You love him."

"Uh, I…." She stuttered to a halt, not knowing what to say. "Well, of course I love him. I owe him my very life. I would die for him if required." she finally said.

"But you don't love him just out of duty, do you?" Hakkai's quiet voice reached her through the noise of the storm. "What else makes you love him?" He looked over at her, a small warm smile on his face. "I really would like to know."

"Uhm, I guess," Yaone struggled to find the words, wondering why she was even trying to do so and why she was discussing something so private with this person, her mortal enemy. "It's a lot of little things."

"Like what exactly?"

She thought about it hard. "Well, he's very noble, and I don't mean just because he's a demon prince. His nobility is not due to rank or birth. It is a nobility of the heart. He doesn't abuse his subordinates or let them be punished for no reason, and he won't ask anything of his subjects that he himself is not prepared to do. He sees in everyone a greater potential than they themselves see. That is probably the most amazing thing about him. He has so much faith in you, you just can't fail him. And yet," Her voice dropped low so Hakkai had to strain to hear it, warmth infusing her words. "He doesn't seem able to see just how much he has done for all of us. He still always believes he has failed somehow, failed the people relying on him. He just can't seem to see what a good person he is."

Yaone raised her face now and met Hakkai's gaze unflinchingly. "He is the most self-sacrificing, selfless man I know. That is why I love him."

Hakkai held her gaze but she refused to drop it, so this time it was he who finally turned away, a small sad smile on his lips. "Well, all I can say is that he is a very lucky man to have someone like you believe in him like that."

"Don't you believe in Sanzo?"

Hakkai grinned at her. "Oh, I believe in Sanzo but I wouldn't go so far as to call him noble or self-sacrificing or selfless! And I most certainly wouldn't say I love him!" He tipped his head to one side, chuckling. "It doesn't quite sound the same if I said that as it does falling from the lips of a beautiful lady such as your self."

Yaone felt her face grow warm. "You think I'm beautiful?" She couldn't resist asking in a small voice.

A warm hand enveloped hers. "My lady, you are a vision of enchantment, a beauty not only in features and body but of mind and soul." Hakkai raised her hand to his lips and brushed a light kiss across the back. She felt that small touch of warmth travel up her hand and straight to her heart. "I wish I could be so lucky as to one day have one such as you say such things about me as you have so graciously expressed about your Lord."

He released her hand and she drew it into her lap. She knew her face was flushed, her breathing shallow as she cradled her hand, still feeling Hakkai's warmth on it.

"Well, it doesn't look like it will be letting up anytime soon," he suddenly said. "We may as well try to make ourselves as comfortable as possible until then."

"So it would seem." Yaone conceded that he was right. They were both still weary, recovering from their wounds and in dire need of rest.

Hakkai shifted by her side, his shoulder pressing against hers, as did his thigh. She couldn't suppress the shiver that unexpectedly shook her, a shiver of unexpected pleasure.

"Are you cold?" he asked solicitously.

She was unable to look at him let alone answer, and before she could do anything more she felt him shift again and his arm circled her shoulders, drawing her in against him closer. She dropped her head against his chest, hiding her flaming face.

"Stay close to me," Hakkai's soft voice rumbled in his chest under her ear. "You'll be a lot warmer. Try to get some sleep."

"What …about you?" she whispered. She felt more than heard his small laugh.

"I'm fine." A hand lightly brushed her hair then was gone. "I'll wake you if need be. Don't worry. Trust me."

Oh, I do, she thought as her eyes closed almost against her will, lulled by the warmth of the body next to her, the strong arm circling protectively about her, the soft breath touching her hair, and her head rocked slowly on the chest it rested upon as the heart beat steadily against her cheek.

"Yaone!"

The sharp cry roused her, bringing her awake instantly and sitting up, looking around.

"Yaone!" The cry came again.

"I think someone has come looking for you." A soft amused voice said near her.

She turned her head to see Hakkai leaning still in the same position as the night before. He obviously hadn't moved at all and she wondered guiltily if it was because she had been sleeping by his side and he hadn't wanted to disturb her. Her eyes fixed on his, mouth opening to ask him if that was the case, if he had slept all right, if he was still in pain, to thank him. So many things she wanted to say to him but as she tried to form the words her name was called again.

"Yaone!"

Immediately her head spun around, eyes searching the surrounding forest.

"You had better go," The quiet voice made her turn once more to see Hakkai standing and moving out into the open, before extending a hand to assist her up also. "Your Lord summons you." he added with a smile.

Hakkai gave her hand a light squeeze and then released it, turning, just as Kougaiji strode out from the trees, heading towards them.

Kougaiji felt relief when he espied his missing vassal, a flash of happiness in seeing her safe and well, standing there watching him approach. A frown touched his brow as he noted Hakkai's presence beside her and his hands clenched for a moment yet his pace didn't falter.

He stopped a short distance from them, just looking upon them both silently.

"Are you all right?" he asked a little brusquely.

"Yes," Yaone hurried to assure him. "I'm fine now."

"Come," he instructed quietly.

"Yes, my lord!" Yaone answered quickly, hurrying to his side.

She turned and faced Hakkai, who still remained where he had been, making no move to approach them. "Thank you for looking after me last night," she said with a low bow. "You have my gratitude."

"It was my pleasure, and I am just as indebted for your assistance." Hakkai responded with a smile, also bowing.

Kougaiji watched this interplay silently although the frown was retuning to his face as he picked up hidden undercurrents behind the simple words and actions. He abruptly turned and began to walk away.

"It's time we left," he said sharply. "Lirin's waiting for you."

"Yes!" Yaone hurried after him.

He shot a look over his shoulder towards Hakkai. "Until next time," he said evenly.

"Of course," Hakkai replied calmly. "We look forward to it."

"Humph!"

Hakkai watched as Kougaiji pulled Yaone close to his side and leap away, disappearing in a blink of an eye. He let out a small sigh, squinting at the early dawn light. He supposed he had better start trying to make his own way back as well.

He turned and suddenly heard the sound of a familiar engine, then followed shortly after with the appearance of a beloved khaki-green vehicle.

"Hakuryu!" he called out joyfully.

"'Bout time you decided to turn up," Gojyo said from where he slouched behind the wheel. "We've been up all night looking for your sorry arse."

"My apologies," Hakkai said with a smile, walking over to the stationary vehicle. He patted the bonnet affectionately and the engine purred louder.

Gojyo clambered over into the back seat. "Move over, monkey!" he snapped, using a boot to push Goku further across. "How can a pint-sized squirt like you take up so much frigging space?!"

"Shut up, you cockroach!" was the sharp comeback. "Hurry up, Hakkai! We haven't even had breakfast yet! I'm so hungry I'm gonna die!"

"Yeah, right," Sanzo growled, lighting a cigarette. "That'll be the day."

"I will! I swear it!"

"Shut up,"

"Sanzo!!!"

"I said, shut up!!" Whap!, went the paper fan over Goku's head.

Hakkai smiled as he shifted into gear and they headed off.

"Had a good night?" Gojyo asked, leaning over the back of the seat, ignoring the tirade of abuse that Sanzo was raining down on the hapless Goku.

"Yes, quite," Hakkai said calmly. "It was very restful."

"I see," Gojyo replied, leaning back.

He didn't tell his friend that he could smell the faint scent of perfume on his clothes, and it certainly wasn't a fragrance that Hakkai used.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators, nor am I making any profits

Chapter 2

Hakkai stared out the window, gazing unseeing at the rooftops before him and the golden light playing over the polished brass fittings of the shop fronts below. His thoughts had wandered back to that night once again. That night he had been separated from his companions. The night that he had spent with Yaone.

He sighed softly. He had found that his thoughts often strayed back to that time, brushing off the memory delicately like it was something extremely fragile and very precious. He recalled the feel of her body's warmth against his shoulder, her scent that was faintly of jasmine mixed with other fragrances that he couldn't quite discern. Not surprising really. She was an apothecary so was frequently around a variety of herbs and potions so it wasn't any wonder that such aromas clung to her clothes, hair and body. Despite the mix of perfumes he had found it more than just pleasant.

He remembered the touch of her long braids brushing against his arm as she had moved her head. He had almost wished at that time that he had been wearing no tunic, couldn't help but wonder what it would have felt like to have those twisted strands touching his bare skin. What would they have felt like?

Her hands had been cool and efficient as she had helped heal his wounds yet they had left him feeling warm at their passing. None of his injuries had been severe fortunately, although they were certainly bloody. Hers had been a little less, but deep enough to cause real pain. In all, they had been very lucky. He'd had just enough chi left to rectify the worst for both of them, using up the last to seal the blood seepage and begin the process of knitting flesh and tendon back together. After that he was spent, the last of his reserves depleted leaving him weary and weak.

That had left the finishing touches to Yaone's competent skills. She had insisted on treating him first, ignoring his protestations, brushing his attempts to halt her actions aside as though he was no more than an irritating insect. She frowned with concentration as she had worked; lips pursed together as she carefully cleaned, then smeared healing salves over his wounds, neat stitches drawing jagged flesh together firmly, and then makeshift bandages bound over those wounds. The cloth they had used for the bandages had been his sash which had proved extremely helpful at the time.

He had watched her face the whole time, took note of every change in her features as she had worked. He had felt his lips curl in a soft smile as he gazed at her, a true smile, something which didn't happen too often, and it had warmed his heart for a moment. She had looked so endearing, a cross between a solemn child and a determined woman. It was this almost childlike earnestness at times that drew him to her, an innocence that seemed to be a part of who she was. It reminded him of other times, times in the past when he too could remember what it had been like to believe and trust in this world. A time that was long gone, lost to him now, beyond his reach. A time that could never be recovered, an innocence that he would never again know. Was he mad to think of using such a word as 'innocence' for a demon?

But there was no other way he could describe what he felt in her. She was so open, so honest in her views. She spoke directly from the heart always, even when apologizing for having to fight him, perhaps to the death. There was no malicious intent, no animosity in her towards him or any of the Sanzo party. It was just something that she was committed to doing.

That thought had brought a small frown to his face. The battle between themselves and Kougaiji and his followers was disturbing. Hakkai was certain he wasn't the only one who felt that way. He knew that Goku found it difficult many times to remember that Kougaiji and the others were actually their enemies when all was said and done, though no matter what happened, no matter how many times they fought and harmed each other, it still never felt like they were truly the foe. Every pain each party inflicted on the other seemed to be done regretfully. That didn't mean that it was no less truly meant, but it just didn't seem right that they were fighting on opposite sides. But till now, there just didn't seem to be any way of changing that.

Though there had been a number of times, just like that night, where they had ended up helping each other, even healing each other. Was that something that enemies did for each other?

Perhaps, he considered. Perhaps you would do this for an enemy you considered honourable. To allow them to die in some ignominious manner or from wounds received in a minor battle was not the way you wanted them to end their time on this earth. Perhaps you would do this for an enemy you considered worthy of your skills and so only wished to know that you had been the one to defeat them in battle. Perhaps that was all there was to it.

"If you sigh any deeper you're gonna pop a lung," said a voice from behind, startling him.

Hakkai turned to see Gojyo standing in the doorway. Immediately the faint smile curved his lips automatically; the smile that wasn't a smile.

"I didn't hear you come in," he said, almost sounding apologetic.

"Not surprised," Gojyo said, ambling forward to throw himself onto the bed. He lit up a cigarette and leant back on his forearms, looking at his friend by the window. "So whatcha thinking about?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing in particular,"

Gojyo snorted, "Yep, 'nothing' usually gives you such a long face. What gives?" he queried, eying his friend closely. "You've been acting weird since that night you were missing. Well, weirder than normal anyway."

Hakkai smiled again, that calm façade of a smile that both annoyed Gojyo enough to want to smack it away because he knew his friend was hiding something, and hurt him enough to know that he wasn't trusted by said friend to share whatever was the problem.

He held his tongue, even though he wanted to rant at his exclusion, knowing it would do no good. Hakkai was just like that, and there was nothing he could do to change it. As much as he wished he could.

"Sorry for troubling you. It's certainly nothing to be concerned about I assure you." Hakkai said soothingly. "Where's Goku? I thought he went shopping with you?"

Gojyo took a deep drag on his cigarette and went along with Hakkai's blatantly obvious move at changing the subject. "The little ape's sitting downstairs woofing his way through a bag of steamed buns." he growled.

"Oh?" Hakkai just raised a querying brow. "Is Sanzo paying for them?" Which sounded completely unlike the perennially grumpy monk.

"Nah," Gojyo explained. "Goku got talking to the owner of a stall in the market place that sells them and the lady there took a liking to the monkey. So he got a whole pile of yesterday's buns and she reheated them for him. He says they taste just as good, and she's promised to give him any others left over tomorrow as well."

"So how many was he given?"

Gojyo blew out a perfect smoke ring. "Too many. I swear the idiot's going to give himself a stomach ache and then keep me up all night with his moans!"

"Though then again, Goku frequently complains that you keep him awake because you talk in your sleep. And your moans are not from overeating." Hakkai said mildly.

Gojyo scowled at him, feeling his face heat a little. "How could he claim anything like that when the idiot sleeps like the dead?" he stated. "There's no way he would know if I talked in my sleep or not! Let alone what I was actually saying!"

"Oh, but I do," Hakkai mentioned calmly, returning to his contemplation out the window so he didn't see his friend's face flush completely.

Shit, Gojyo thought, almost biting through his cigarette. Hakkai is right. He did, after all, share an apartment with him for some time and there was only one room which doubled as a bedroom as well as sitting room. Due to those close confines there was no way he could have hidden anything from Hakkai during that time. Hell, maybe he does talk in his sleep!

He frantically wracked his brains wondering if during the time they had shared living quarters if he'd had any embarrassing thoughts about his co-habitator. Would he have actually blurted out anything whilst sleeping that indicated how hot he thought Hakkai could be? Or did that come later?

"Ahem," He cleared his throat, desperately thinking of a way to get the conversation away from that last statement. "Anyway, Goku will be happy for a while yet. And quiet as his mouth is stuffed full of food so that's got to be a good thing!"

Hakkai returned his gaze to his friend with a smile. "So has Sanzo decided when we are leaving?"

"He did say two days but you know him," Gojyo shrugged, his shoulders brushing against his loose red hair. "That damn monk changes his mind more times than a brothel's favoured whore changes her panties!"

"I'm not sure that is the best analogy, but it is certainly… colourful." Hakkai said with laughter in his voice.

Gojyo stood and stretched, feeling a number of places along his spine pop with the extension. "So you may as well make the most of the break. It looks like the next couple of weeks could be hell judging from the mountains we're going to have to get across."

"I hope it won't be too arduous for Hakuryu," Hakkai worried.

"That little beastie will be fine," Gojyo reassured him. "I'm sure it won't be that bad for him."

"I do hope so,"

Gojyo headed for the door. "You ready to have dinner now?" he asked.

Hakkai glanced at the setting sun and lengthened shadows. "Is Sanzo eating now?"

"I'm just about to go see but he did indicate he wanted an early night so I guess that means he's eating earlier. The guy's beginning to show his age. You know what he's like when he doesn't get enough sleep. Anyway, it's either lack of sleep that gives him that temper or he's permanently got PMS! Besides, Goku should be so stuffed at the moment that the rest of us just might be able to get a mouthful for once!"

Hakkai moved away from the window and joined his friend, chuckling. "You don't usually have too much trouble holding your own against him." he stated, inclining his head as Gojyo opened the door and waved him through first.

"Yeah, but even I sometimes get tired of every meal actually being a battle just to save my quota of eggrolls!" He trooped down the stairs behind Hakkai, hands pushed deep in his pockets.

Hakkai glanced over his shoulder with a smirk. "Oh, so you don't like to expend that much vigour over a meal? Is it only in the bedroom that you like to get that energetic?"

"Hey!" Gojyo stopped and glared at Hakkai's back as he continued down the stairs. "How do you know how energetic I can get?"

"Oh, I don't. But I've certainly heard it, not to mention noticed how low your chi is afterwards so you obviously use a vast quantity in that activity." Hakkai's voice drifted up to him calmly.

Gojyo's face grew hot as he thought about Hakkai having such intimate knowledge of his nocturnal activities. "That's not fair!" he called down, "That's peeking!"

"Sorry," Hakkai had disappeared around the corner of the staircase and was out of Gojyo's sight although he could still hear him clearly enough. "Are you going to join us for dinner?"

Before Goyjo could answer another voice piped up loudly.

"Hey, Hakkai, look what I've got! Steamed buns! Lots of them! And I can get more tomorrow! Here, have one!"

Gojyo walked down the last few steps and turned the corner to see Hakkai politely accepting a proffered bun from a beaming Goku and seating himself next to the younger man.

Damn Hakkai, he thought, chewing on the end of his almost burnt out cigarette. He was always so quiet that you just didn't pay any attention to what he might be picking up from the situations around him.

He knew that when they were living together Hakkai probably did have a pretty good idea about what he'd been up to. Not that he brought female companions home very often but a couple of times when Hakkai had first moved in with him he had done so, and been busted big time with it. It hadn't been that embarrassing for him. Fortunately Hakkai had managed all three times to come home after everything was over and his girl of the day had either been showering or dressing so it was more embarrassing for them.

After that he had made certain to never take a woman home with him. He would instead go to her place or find another location, which could have been anything from a nice hotel room to a quick one against the back alley wall - whatever felt good at the time. But even though he no longer brought woman back, Hakkai would have still been able to smell the musky scent of sex on him before he would go shower. So, yeah, his sexual appetite was certainly no secret to his housemate.

However, what was a little unnerving was that Hakkai would have been able to tell what level of energy he was putting into the effort from the reduction of his chi, his own personal level of internal power which all living things held. He wasn't able to concentrate and channel his chi like Hakkai did but that didn't mean that he didn't have it, and it was expended during any activities undertaken; some draining more than others. So the knowledge that Hakkai would have been able to see how depleted his chi levels were when he returned after having sex made him a little uncomfortable.

An image of Hakkai's piercing good green eye peering right through him to his inner self made him feel quite naked. Although that thought was quickly followed by a flush of heat at the notion of actually _being_ naked before Hakkai.

He accepted he had a very healthy sexual appetite and wasn't afraid to admit that he could admire both sexes equally well; although to date he had only had enough interest to bed females. However that didn't mean that he didn't sometimes find himself eyeing a good looking guy and picturing them naked and wondering what it might be like.

And he had finally admitted to himself a long time ago that he certainly found Hakkai pretty damn attractive. He had a lean, fit body despite the disfiguring scar, and a face that took your breath away.

But his eyes would have to be the best part of him. Hakkai had a way of being able to see right through you, as though he were stripping away the multitude of layers of personality to reach your true essence beneath, the real you. It was completely unnerving, but highly erotic! Gojyo had found himself getting hard more than once when Hakkai had just looked at him – it was almost instinctual. So all round he found his friend damn hot. He still didn't know if he would ever go as far as bedding him, but that hadn't stopped him from thinking about it!

Then again, even if he did decide he wanted to sleep with Hakkai, he had no idea if he would be agreeable to it or not. Hakkai was just as liable to blow a whopping great whole in his guts if he tried anything, knowing he would be able to heal Gojyo afterwards.

In fact that is exactly something that Hakkai would do – cause enough pain to make certain you remembered for a looooong time the consequence of your actions and then solicitously make you better afterwards, just to rub it in further. That's the dark side to Hakkai's healing powers. He would make a great torturer because he actually could cut you into little pieces and just keep healing your wounds so you would survive for a hell of a long time, but all that time you would have to live through the pain over and over again. Of course, the downside for him would be that the use of his chi would be depleted each time also so he would require time to recover. But if you were tied up at the time it's not like you would be going anywhere whilst he did!

He shook his head. What morbid thoughts! Hakkai wouldn't do that – although in the back of his mind Gojyo never wanted to see his friend lose his self control completely to find out if he truly was capable of doing something like that. Someone who was capable of slaying one thousand demons was not someone to be trifled with.

He had reached the table and sat down next to Hakkai, leaving the fourth seat vacant next to Goku for Sanzo. No way was he sitting next to the hyperactive monkey!

Well, he thought, glancing at his friend. That was all beside the point really. What he really wanted to know was what was Hakkai thinking about so much lately that made him look so sad and lonely?

And made him just ache to hold him?


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators, nor am I making any profits

Chapter 3

Yaone shivered a little as the cool breeze caressed her shoulders. She hadn't been able to sleep - again - so instead of spending the rest of the hours of darkness tossing and turning she had come out here, walking the silent, darkened corridors, avoiding the areas she knew would be populated with Gyokumen Koushu's people.

As she had reached the area where she now sat, the glimmer of the full moon shining through the open stone arches of the balcony had captured her gaze. She had stood for a moment, looking up at the glittering orb that hung in the night sky before settling down on the stone ledge, sitting so her back was against the wall and her knees drawn towards her chest, hands clasped loosely about them.

Everything was quiet around her, no sound disturbing her isolation. There in the darkness, her mind once more drifted back to that night, that night she had spent with Hakkai.

She felt her pulse flutter a little as an image of his face rose in her mind. He was very attractive. She would have had to be blind to not see that. The way his dark hair fell down over his monocled eye almost as though in a deliberate effort to hide his weakness, although she wasn't certain it was truly a weakness. She was certain he had damaged vision in that eye yet there was never any sign of it affecting his fighting abilities.

She found that she was drawn mostly to his eyes – that clear green gaze so intense it was almost frightening, yet at the same time completely fascinating. Although Yaone instinctively trusted Hakkai for some reason, she also couldn't help but feel that for all his seeming openness and honesty he was very good at hiding his true thoughts.

She sighed softly. She hadn't intended to help him that night, not at all. So just how had that happened? She had been scolded severely by her Lord for putting herself in danger like that.

She had gone in search of the Sanzo party in nothing more than the hope of being of some assistance to Lord Kougaiji. Her Lord had had to go away on business, running another errand for Gyokumen. He hadn't wanted to do it but had had little choice. Yaone knew of her Lord's reluctance and had wanted to be able to give him some good news upon his return.

So she had left the castle on her own and had finally tracked the Sanzo party down in the mountains. Her intention had simply been to observe them, to determine their plans, and then return home. She had accepted long ago that it was not a good idea to attempt to take them all on alone. Each was formidable in his own right. Together, they were more than a handful.

So this was to have been nothing more than a reconnaissance mission, just a fact-finding exercise. What harm could that be? They wouldn't even have known she was there. Such a simple plan.

Unfortunately, her belief that it would be an uneventful assignment was destroyed on the first night after she had located them when a large band of demons attacked the party.

Word had been spreading steadily about the Sanzo party and their prowess in battle. Due to this, when any demons did summon up the courage to attack them head on, they were being certain to do so with greater numbers each time, obviously believing that sooner or later sheer mass would win eventually.

Not that it had so far.

However, although the Sanzo party continued to survive, it didn't mean they did so unscathed. Yaone had been witness to more than one occasion when one or all had been battling for their lives. It was extremely ironic in many ways that her Lord had been responsible for their survival more than once. Sometimes she truly wondered just why they were fighting them at all.

She had stayed back and just watched as the battle unfolded on the forested mountain slope. She watched as Son Goku wielded his nyoi-bo expertly, leaping high in the air to come down amidst a group of demons, swinging his weapon from side to side and crushing those in reach.

She observed as Sha Goyjo, Dokugakuji's brother, swirled his shakujou in a circular path of chained destruction, dismembering all demons in his vicinity.

The sharp report of a gun, wielded by the priest, Sanzo, rang out loudly over the screams of pain and the battle cries of both sides.

But most of all, who she watched was Cho Hakkai; the way he gathered his chi, manipulated it, then flung out that destructive power to shatter all resistance was breathtaking.

She could feel the power emanating from his standing form, even from where she crouched hidden in the tree tops above the battle. Such power held by one man was almost unbelievable. She had only ever seen her Lord wield such similar power and he was a Demon Prince. Cho Hakkai was nothing more than a human who had bathed in the blood of one thousand demons to be cursed to become that which he hated.

She had had no intention of helping them. Yes, a part of her initially had almost caused her to go forward but she had been able to restrain herself. This wasn't her fight, she was only to watch. Of course, if the party truly looked like it could suffer defeat she would step in. Only to save the scared scroll for her Lord.

So she had watched, observing everything, taking note of the ebb and flow of the battle, and unable to completely mask the admiration she felt for the skill she was seeing from the members of the Sanzo party.

However, then the demon horde actually began to think more as a group instead a myriad of individuals and consolidated themselves. Quickly they broke into four packs to swarm over each individual of the Sanzo party, separating them completely.

She saw them all go down, sheer numbers besting them. As Hakkai disappeared from view, one outstretched hand reaching toward the heavens being the last thing she saw, her heart had seemed to stop in her breast. She couldn't hold back any longer and, with a high pitched cry, had launched herself from her hiding place, spear in hand.

She had been forced to break up the scrum holding Goku first simply because it was the closest; that is, being directly below where she had been hiding. It had seemed like bad manners if she had just bypassed his predicament.

A few well laid strikes from her staff had loosened their hold and he had erupted from beneath the bodies, a broad smile plastered over his face as he saw her, calling out a cheerful "Thanks!", before landing on the backs of those holding Sanzo and proceeded to methodically destroy them.

Yaone quickly battled her way to where Hakkai had last been. Still seeing no sign of him or even movement beneath the writhing mass of slashing claws and gnashing teeth made her heart beat frantically.

She knew why it beat that way. It was fear. She knew what fear was – it was when Lirin had been abducted, it had been when Lord Kougaiji had been badly wounded. Yes, she knew what fear was. That fear made her fight even more fiercely.

Soon she was rewarded when a burst of blinding light seared through the bodies and continued onwards to strike the huddled mass beyond, almost disintegrating it entirely and releasing a bloodied Gojyo who swiftly began to dish out his own kind of retribution. A disheveled Hakkai then stood, brushing aside the dust of the disintegrated demons from his clothes, even whilst he calmly punched a leaping one in the throat.

Yaone had no time to think of anyone else's wellbeing then as the demons now included her as a potential target. They wouldn't know who she was and she wasn't to certain they would really care. Lord Kougaiji's name might be known and generally feared but he wasn't here so that may not carry much weight. She didn't have any intention of trying to find out, only to discover that she had made a fatal mistake. So she ensured that any who made the error of thinking that she may be an easy mark were swiftly disabused of that notion.

This band of demons was far better armed and more organized than many and the fight was fierce and brutal for all concerned. She tried to move away from the Sanzo party and thus disassociate herself from them, thinking that perhaps the demons would pursue their quarrel with the Sanzo group who were far more important to them than one lone demon who had appeared in their midst. After all, she was not here to fight their battles; that was not her place. She wished now only to leave and return home.

Unfortunately the demons followed her also, not content to let her be. No matter how much distance she tried to make they continued to pursue. It was then that she noticed that Hakkai had also been pushed in her direction, the two of them now completely separated from the other three, the closely growing trees cutting off their view of the rest of the battle.

The rain and fog continued to shroud the area, lowering the visibility further and making the footing treacherous. Three demons pressed in on her, two swinging swords, the third with a metal banded staff. She fought them hard, wincing as one sword managed to slip under her guard and slice her arm as she dispatched one assailant, before turning to prevent the staff from crushing her skull. As she leapt back a few feet to avoid the second sword swing aimed for her midsection, she heard the rattle of rocks falling and knew that they must be near a precipice. How deep it fell she didn't know and she had no time to check. All she could hope for was that she could avoid the fall.

"Hold on!" A voice called from the side of her and then she saw Hakkai almost skid to a stop in the mud by her side. He cast her a brief smile before returning to the task at hand, namely slaying the foe who had been chasing him and who were now slowly beginning to diminish at last in numbers.

She returned that smile, unable to prevent it, feeling strangely glad that he was by her side. His presence seemed to bolster her spirit and she returned to the battle on hand.

They fought then, side by side, protecting each other, spelling each other. She couldn't help but notice that it was the same feeling she had when she fought with Lord Kougaiji, or Dokugakuji, or even little Lirin. For some reason it felt like she was fighting with someone whom she…loved.

Yaone touched the back of her hand lightly where Hakkai had kissed it. Even now she could recall the feel of Hakkai's lips brushing against her skin, the warmth of his breath. She felt her cheeks warm a little and knew she was blushing. Thank goodness it was dark and she was alone!

She still couldn't truly fathom why she responded in this way. Yes, Hakkai was an attractive man. There was no denying that, but it's not as though she hadn't been around attractive people before; both human and youkai. Of course, she had been around some pretty repulsive specimens of both also, like Hyakugan-Maoh, the Centipede Demon King, from whom Kougaiji had save her, and even some of those repulsive creatures had come clothed in an attractive package.

So attractiveness was all subjective as far as she was concerned. She knew only too well that a pretty face didn't mean much. It certainly did not give a true account of the soul within.

She breathed in deeply, filling her lungs with the cold night air, the faint aroma of peony flowers filling her senses. That reminded her that she needed to work on some further potions.

She missed her time in her apothecary. When she had become a vassal of Lord Kougaiji, he had set her up in her very own place, even with a stillroom and a small portion of the grounds in the palace set aside for her to grow a selection of herbs, grasses and flowers and anything else she might desire. It was all hers, and only hers.

She used to spend a great deal of time there once. It was in an area long neglected by Gyokumen's staff. That woman had no interest in any living thing unless it was able to provide her some advantage in her lust for ultimate power. Kougaiji had ensured that Yaone had never been troubled by being there. She was certain that by now few people even remembered that small corner courtyard, let alone that it was her abode.

However, since Kougaiji's mission to free his mother had escalated she had abandoned her free time there to assist him. She didn't begrudge doing so. She would willingly give up everything for him, and without hesitation. It was just that at times like this she missed those simpler days. Often when she had been there, working quietly, feeling the warm soil through her fingers, the warmth of the sun on her back, she had been thankful for the solitude. It was a time to think and take joy in the simpler things in life. Most of her potions at that time hadn't been any more deadly than a gentle sleeping mist.

Unlike now.

Now she was able to create all manner of potions and items that destroyed, maimed and killed. She fully understood the necessity, but a portion of her mind still wept for her lost innocence and peace.

"So this is where you got to,"

The voice from the darkness startled her, making her head swing round quickly, her long braids undone so her loose hair flared around her face at the sudden movement.

From the shadows a large form detached itself, and for a moment her heart raced with fear, as her hand reached for a weapon's belt that wasn't there. Then she recognized Dokugakuji's features as he stepped into a patch of moonlight and she sighed with relief.

He smiled gently at her. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

He was clad in his normal white trousers, bare footed as she was, his shirt hanging loose from his shoulders, undone down the front, showing his muscular chest from throat to navel. She felt herself blush a little at such expanse of masculine flesh and glanced quickly away so he wouldn't notice her staring.

He came to lean against the stone arch opposite her, looking up at the full moon above.

"Sure is pretty tonight," he commented.

"It certainly is," she agreed, returning to her own contemplation of the night sky.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Dokugakuji said.

She shrugged slightly.

He looked across at her. "You've not been sleeping for a while now." It wasn't a question, more of a statement.

She looked up at him quickly, his taller stance leaving him to tower over her seated form but she didn't feel threatened or intimidated by it. She never felt that way around Dokugakuji. Still she was surprised by his comment, and a little flustered that he had noticed. She had thought that her artfully applied make-up and skill in developing creams had hidden the telltale signs. Obviously not well enough it seemed.

"I," She didn't quite know what to say. "I'm fine." she finally finished lamely.

"Hardly," Dokugakuji said calmly. "You've been out of sorts for some time. Ever since you got hurt last." He paused as though weighing up whether to continue his thoughts or not. "Kou said you were with that guy, Hakkai. Did something happen with him?" His countenance darkened for a moment, brows drawing down in a frown. "He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

Did he do anything? Oh, what if Hakkai _had_ done something? Yaone felt her face flush completely, cheeks almost burning, and she was certain it was even visible in the bright moonlight. "No!" she said quickly and a little breathlessly. "Nothing happened! We just talked." She hurried to assure him and those dark brows rose again.

"Must have been one hell of a talk to make you lose sleep over it," Dokugakuji said, turning his head to gaze into the night once more.

Yaone was surprised to detect what seemed to be a touch of bitterness in his tone. What did he mean? What was Dokugakuji concerned you tell?" she asked in a small voice, looking down at her clasped hands.

"What? That you've not been sleeping?"

She nodded.

"Oh, I check in on you most nights. Just to make certain you're okay."

She looked up at him in compete surprise. This was the first she had known of this!

He gazed down at her, his features softening as he smiled. "When Kou first saved you he was worried that there would be trouble. So he asked me to keep an eye on you and make certain you were doing okay."

"You did?" She felt a little alarmed that she hadn't been aware of his vigilance at any time.

"Don't worry!" he said, laughter lacing his voice. "I was very discreet. It wasn't like I was spying on you all the time or anything. I'm not a pervert like my little bother!"

He chuckled at that thought and she couldn't help smiling in return as she thought of Sha Gojyo. She was sure he wasn't a pervert. How could he be when he was the brother of Dokugakuji, a most honourable and noble man?

"But still," she said. "That was a long time ago."

He shrugged. "Guess it just became a habit."

"When .. do you check?" she wanted to know. Oh, how she hoped she'd never been taking a shower – or doing something even more embarrassing! She raised a hand to her face, trying to hide her flaming cheeks. What if he had seen something like _that_?!

"Oh, once or twice a night. I sort of just wake up at different times and just go and check how you're doing." He grinned at her. "Sometimes I think I just do it in my sleep so I'm not sure how quick I'd be able to react if something was actually wrong!"

"I'm sure you could," Yaone assured him quickly, returning his smile. "I have complete faith in your abilities."

"Why, thank you, ma'am!" he said, crossing an arm over his chest, hand over his heart and giving a shallow mocking bow.

She laughed.

Dokugakuji listened to that peal of tinkling laughter with great delight, glad he could make her produce that sound. Yaone didn't laugh nearly enough. In fact she didn't even smile that much, which he thought was a great shame as she had a beautiful smile in his opinion. She was far too serious all the time.

From the time Kougaiji had taken this timid girl under his wing Dokugakuji had been keeping an eye on her. At first he had been sure it was just because he missed having his younger brother around. He was so used to having someone to protect and look out for that he had been at a loss without that. So when Kou had asked him as a favour to keep an eye on her and ensure that she was not harassed by anyone or anything, he had been happy to do so.

He had spent many days quietly watching her go about her chores, watching as she worked in her garden, finding the way she would wipe the sweat from her brow leaving a dirty smudge across her pale skin from her soil covered hands very endearing. In those early days he had made certain that any who had seemed to take a more than casual interest in Lord Kougaiji's newest servant were swiftly discouraged from taking things any further, and dissuaded, sometimes forcibly, in pursuing that interest.

Before he had realized it, he was no longer doing this just as a favour for his Lord, or because it was his duty, or as a way to replace his younger brother. This young woman had suddenly become very, very important to him.

So when she had been snatched by some minions of the Centipede Demon King right from under his nose he had wanted to die. He had been shattered that he had not only failed in his duties so miserably, but he had been unable to prevent such a thing happening to such a beautiful and fragile beauty as Yaone.

He could recall what he'd been feeling like when he had prostrated himself before his Lord, revealing his failings and begging Kougaiji to destroy him, to immolate him on the spot for not being able to even carry out such a simple task as protecting one small girl.

He recalled the hot tears of anger and shame that had wet his cheeks, the cold of the floor nothing compared to the dishonour he had brought upon his Lord. For in allowing those minions to take a servant of Lord Kougaiji's showed all of demon kind that his lord was weak, for the strength of those a Prince chose to surround himself with was a reflection of his own. And Dokugakuji had just shown the entire kingdom that his Prince could not protect his own. He had brought shame on Lord Kougaiji himself with his dereliction of duty.

He remembered waiting for the harsh words, the anger, the scorn, or just the searing pain then oblivion. Instead there had been silence that had hung heavily, disturbed only by the few gulping sobs that he'd been unable to completely swallow as he wept at his incompetence and the disgrace he had brought down on his beloved lord.

Then Kougaiji had spoken, his words soft. "So what are you going to do about it?" was the question.

Dokugakuji had looked up then, still lying prostrate, bringing his head up and meeting his lord's eyes directly.

Kougaiji had simply met that gaze steadily and he could read no accusations, no dislike, no scorn. All he saw was a question, a sense of waiting for his answer, faith that Dokugakuji would answer him in the only way that he could.

That faith caused him to rise to hands and knees, never breaking his gaze from his lord's. Gone was the miserable self-pity, gone was the despair. Now there was only resolution. Yes, he had failed in his duty. Therefore, it was up to him to redeem himself. He would not fail a second time.

He bowed his head then, finally looking down. "My lord, I will return. With all that is yours." he vowed.

"I'll be waiting." Kougaiji had replied, and then simply turned and walked away.

Dokugakuji had kept his promise. He had staged a secret raid on the Centipede Demon King's stronghold. He hadn't gone for some flashy full frontal attack. That would have been a sure way to get killed and his job wasn't to do that. His task was to get Yaone out and back safely to Kougaiji, and the only way he could do that was to remain alive.

So he skillfully penetrated the perimeter, avoiding the guards and other castle inhabitants where possible. It hadn't been a completely bloodless raid. He'd had to kill three different demons along the way when it had been unavoidable, hiding their remains and continuing. He had been so relieved when he had finally found where Yaone was being held, after squeezing the location out of a servant he had grabbed before leaving them trussed and unconscious in a cupboard.

When he had opened the door and seen she was present, the sense of relief he'd felt at seeing her alive had nearly brought him to his knees. Then the anger as he took in the shackles, bruises and torn clothing had nearly made him blind with rage.

When her eyes had met his, hers had widened as though in disbelief and then pure joy at his presence. "Dokugakuji!" she'd cried out, pulling against the chains that bound her although she obviously knew that there was no way she could break free of them.

That had shocked him from the frozen state he'd been in and he sprang to her side, seeking to still her frantic movements and prevent her doing harm to herself. Up close he could see the raw marks around her wrists, the smears of blood clear evidence that she had tried her best to free herself from their clutches

"Oh, Dokugakuji!" she had sobbed, pressing her face into his chest as he leant over her to pull at the chains. He could feel her trembling against his body and he ached to hold her, to comfort her.

"Hold still," he'd whispered and drew back to swing his sword down, severing the chain just above the wrist. He repeated the same for the other side and then again for her ankles.

The chain connected to the collar about her neck he was able to unclip and then remove the pin from the collar itself. As it had fallen away he had seen the dark crimson band circling her throat, stark against her creamy skin, and now he could see that it had also hidden darker marks that were obviously bruises. The thought of anyone touching this pristine creature before him in that manner was bringing out an almost berserker-like rage.

She obviously deduced where he was looking and one hand flew to her neck, trying to cover the marks. She turned her head away, refusing to look at him, her face flaming with a look of shame on it.

"Come on," he said a little gruffly, angry with himself for making her so self-conscious of her abuse before him. What did she have to feel ashamed about? It wasn't her fault.

"Can you walk?" he asked, reaching down and taking one hand to help her to her feet.

"Yes," she answered, then wobbled dangerously as she stood, her other hand clutching at the edge of the bed as her legs buckled. "I'm okay," she gasped, straightening up. "They're just a little stiff from lack of use. I'll be fine. Let's go."

He paused for a moment, uncertain if they should go immediately or allow some time for her limbs to become accustomed to movement again after being chained up for so long. However, the longer they delayed, the greater the chances of being discovered. So far no alarm had been given, or so it appeared, and he really didn't want it to reach that point.

"Okay then," he said, turning and heading for the door.

He could sense her directly behind him although she made no sound. She seemed like no more than a wisp of air following in his shadow. They quickly made their way through the castle and grounds, returning by the same route he had entered, coming across no-one and soon they were out of the Centipede Demon King's clutches.

Dokugakuji felt a great sense of accomplishment in knowing that he'd tweaked the nose of that obnoxious demon and soon everyone would know about it. It never took long for gossip to get around. This would give plenty of people a good laugh and no-one would be laughing at his Lord. Now to get back to Kougaiji.

He set a grueling pace and Yaone matched him, silently at his back the entire time. They hadn't spoken up to this point; silence had been essential. Now he heard a soft gasp of pain and heard the distinct sound of something falling. Turning he saw Yaone sprawled on the ground.

"I'm…I'm sorry," she gasped, raising herself to her hands. "I'm all right."

He knelt by her side to assist her and saw the swelling of her ankles, feeling a flood of remorse. He should have been paying more attention. Of course she probably wasn't all right. He'd accepted her statement back in the castle but he should have realized that it had been nothing more than bravado. He was quite well aware that Yaone wasn't one to make a fuss about things. She simply accepted and endured. He should have been more observant. He had been able to clearly see some of the physical abuse she sported externally. He had no idea of any inner hurt that might have been inflicted. The thought of anyone despoiling her in that way, of forcing her, made his stomach heave violently.

He gathered her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, smothering her surprised cry.

"We're nearly home," he said, ignoring her muffled protest. He looked down at her with a gentle smile. "Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

She had gazed up at him then, surprise in her eyes at first and then they had softened into trust. "Thank you," she had whispered and leant her head wearily against his chest, eyes closing.

He felt her entire body go limp, exhaustion and relief finally taking their toll. He had held her close as he had sped them home to their lord.

Yaone had seemed to recover from that ordeal quickly, her exterior wounds gone in a matter of days, although he suspected she had used creams to camouflage the bruises. She didn't speak to him about what had happened to her, so even to this day he didn't know for certain what had occurred. Perhaps it was better that he didn't because it was torture enough just wondering. If he was ever faced with the full truth he didn't know how he would react. He would much rather focus on the joy of just having her back and that first day after when he saw her once more out in her treasured garden he had almost wept with happiness.

However she did suffer from nightmares immediately after that time, something she hadn't told anyone from what he could tell. He would never have known either except he was already in the habit of checking up on her at various times and once had come upon her sleeping under a tree in her garden during a warm afternoon.

He had been happy to just stand and silently watch, but instead of her usual calm repose he saw her features twist through a myriad of emotions, too fast for him to determine exactly what, but there was no mistaking the tears that leaked from the corners of her closed eyes and streaked her cheeks with moisture. Nor could he ignore the small cries that fell from her lips during her sleep, cries that were tinged with fear and pain. He'd been horrified when he had witnessed this, and realized just what it connected to but before he could go to her side and wake her, she let out a high scream and jerked awake.

He was hidden from her view, but from his position he could see her eyes were wide and staring, fear still etched across her face as she looked quickly from side to side, as though reassuring herself that she was truly safe. He saw the flash of relief on her face following, the way her shoulders slumped a little as she relaxed. His heart ached as she raised a hand and scrubbed all traces of her tears away then stood and returned calmly to her tasks.

It was after that, that he had begun his nightly checks, to relieve both his own worries and Kougaiji's. If she appeared to be having a difficult night he would sit by her bed and gently cover one of her hands with his, so lightly as to not wake her. He had been glad that this small contact had seemed to help her as her restlessness always lessened when he did so. He had kept this routine up ever since that time.

She may have eventually told Kougaiji about what she had endured during her captivity because the Centipede Demon King mysteriously died not long after, although as far as he knew Kougaiji's presence could be accounted for. Not that that really meant anything.

Or perhaps the Centipede Demon King actually had suicided as one rumour indicated. He'd been the laughing stock of the entire kingdom after Yaone's escape. Perhaps that defeat to his pride had been too much.

Whatever the reason, he was gone and Yaone was safe. And no-one ever again messed with her or any of them.

Until now.

His hands tightened into fists in anger. The antics of Gyokumen Koushu and her pet scientist Ukoku were driving him to distraction. He was constantly worried about what they were doing to Kougaiji, they had already caused him so much trouble and grief. By holding his mother hostage, they could force him to do almost anything, no matter how much against his own instincts that might be, and at times it seemed to be tearing him apart. And all Dokugakuji could do was be there at his side.

Just as Yaone was.

He saw her stretch, bare arms reaching upwards, head leaning back and eyes closed. He smiled at the unguarded expression on her face. It wasn't often that you truly saw Yaone's real feelings, she was so apt at keeping them hidden, and she was a very strong willed individual.

He felt his face flush a little as he remembered the way she had wrapped those arms around him, pressing up against his back to calm him when he had given into anger after Kougaiji had suffered such horrific wounds from his fight with the transformed Goku. He had honestly thought that he was going to lose him then, which was the only reason he let him be taken by Ukoku. A big mistake certainly but what else could he have done? Without Yaone there he hadn't believed his lord had any chance at all. That was not a mistake he was going to be making again.

But that feeling of helplessness, the fear of not knowing if that person that meant so much to him would die or not, that had been overwhelming. He had punched the stone wall hard enough to break bones, blood smeared across the fascia, portions of torn skin caught on the sharp rock. But the sound of Yaone's voice demanding that he stop had brought him back to his senses, made him focus on what was important, reminding him that there were others suffering as well, others that still needed his help and protection. She reminded him of what he had to concentrate on. Not what his mistake was, but how to make it right. Exactly as Kougaiji had done so long ago.

He had stood there for a moment, breathing in deeply, closing his eyes to just let himself feel the warmth of her body so close to his, the slight jasmine scent that was distinctly hers. He had wanted to just remain like that, the two of them in that moment, together. But there had been things to do.

She had tended to his wound, holding his damaged hand and turning it this way and that, touching it gently to ascertain what she would need to do. She scolded him softly for being so careless, all the while she carefully cleaned, set and bound it. He couldn't help but smile at her mothering ways.

Just as he was smiling now, although just at this moment she looked anything but like a mother, clad only in a thin shift, bare arms and long hair unbound, the only time he had ever seen it this way usually was when she was sleeping. He longed to reach out and touch the silken strands but he held himself back. That would be far too forward.

"I think I will try and go to sleep now," she said, breaking the silence that had grown between them.

"Want me to walk you back?" he asked, smiling down at her.

She returned the smile as she nimble dropped from her perch. "I think I can manage to find my own way." she answered.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, you know, about checking up on you," he said, running a hand through his spiky hair. "I'll try not to do it anymore."

She stood looking up at him, her hands clasped behind her back, head tilted slightly to one side. "That's all right," she murmured. She shuffled her feet a little. "I don't really mind."

Dokugakuji was surprised. Had she just given him permission to continue to, well in a way it was spying, but she didn't mind him seeing her whilst she slept? He wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

She smiled up at him shyly and reached out to take his hand, holding it lightly, her two smaller ones barely able to cover his one broad one.

"You've always looked after me, Dokugakuji," she said softly. "That makes me very happy. Thank you."

She released him and swiftly ran down the passage, taking only a few steps before the shadows swallowed her up leaving him standing there almost frozen in place.

He let the breath he had been holding till then out in a loud whoosh. Well, that had been a surprise. He had known that she wouldn't have been really angry with him for his nocturnal visits, that wasn't in her nature, but he had expected her to ask him to cease his actions. What he hadn't been expecting was for her to tell him that he could continue if he wanted to!

He tried to not read too much into it. She could just be being nice to him, making him feel wanted and needed as a protector. He suddenly realized something. She still hadn't said anything about why she had been so restless since that night she had been with that Cho Hakkai.

He gave a sharp bark of laughter. She had done it again to him. She had managed to completely change the subject and make him forget exactly what it was he had been trying to find out!

He turned to make his own way back to his cold bed. He should try and get some sleep also. As he walked, yawning widely, all he could think about was what had gone on between Yaone and Hakkai?


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators, nor am I making any profits

Chapter 4

"So what's the verdict?" Sanzo asked, lighting up

"It's a lost cause I'm afraid," Hakkai stated, looking up.

"Huh," was the monk's only reply.

"Ah, no, no!" Goku wailed, falling to his knees, face grief-stricken. "It can't be!"

"Give it up, monkey," Gojyo stated flatly. "There's nothing you can do about it."

"But…but.." Goku looked mournfully up at the kappa. "There's got to be something we can do."

Hakkai stood and brushed off his trousers, placing a comforting hand on the younger mans' shoulder. "I'm sorry, Goku. All the food is ruined."

"Noooooo!" Goku's cry of despair echoed off the surrounding mountains, slowly fading away.

"Geez!" Gojyo slapped the back of Goku's head. "Will you shut up with your whining! It's not the end of the world!"

"But it is!" Goku glared at him. "What are we expected to eat? I'm already starving!"

"You only had breakfast two hours ago," Gojyo snapped.

"That was two hours!" Goku stated, glaring at him. "Since then we've been chased by demons, driven over a cliff, nearly drowned in a river and now all our food is destroyed. That all makes me hungry!"

"Ah, damnit!" Gojyo slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand in despair at Goku's insane reasoning. He then turned to Sanzo. "So what are we gonna do now, oh high and mighty?" he asked.

"We keep going," was Sanzo's even reply, smoke from his lit cigarette drifting upwards.

"But, Sanzo," Goku jumped to his feet and went immediately to his master's side. "Where are we going to eat? Hakkai, is there some place on the map for us to stop at? Some place we can get some food?"

"Well," Hakkai was carefully trying to unfold the sodden map without tearing the paper, grimacing a little as it stuck and he was forced to tug a little harder. Finally he had it spread over the bonnet of Hakuryu in jeep form. "I don't believe there is anything on our way for at least another three days." He looked up at his three friends. "That is why we purchased the quantity of supplies that we did in the first place."

"Aw, man!" Goku threw himself into the back of Hakuryu, legs hanging over the side. "I'm gonna die before then." He sat up. "Look again, there's got to be some place else."

Hakkai smiled serenely at the impatient Goku. "I'm sorry, Goku, but according to the map there isn't anything. However the map could be incorrect and we may be lucky enough to find something between here and the next marked town."

Gojyo knelt down and began rummaging through the pile of water-soaked packages and bags, grimacing as his hand went through some paper and squelched around something. He lifted it, eyeing the white dripping globules sliding from his fingers. "I don't even wanna try and guess what that was supposed to have been." he said with distaste.

"Oh, that was probably the flour," Hakkai said, glancing towards his friend.

"Humph," Gojyo shook his hand, shaking the worst from it and then tried to wipe the rest on the grass at his side, before giving up and going back to scrabbling through the remains of their supplies.

"Is there something you are specifically looking for?" Hakkai asked, after watching his friend for a moment.

"Smokes," was the answer. "I know we stocked up on them so I'm trying to find them. I'm hoping that there might be some that we can salvage. It's gonna be a long trip otherwise."

He continued to search for a moment more, his motions becoming a little more frantic. Suddenly he sat back on his heels with an exasperated snort. "What the hell happened to them?" he snarled, glaring at the mess before him.

"They were probably totally destroyed," Hakkai stated, carefully refolding the map. "They were immersed for some time in the water before we could drag it all out."

"I meant that they're not even here," Gojyo replied, kicking at the pile angrily.

Hakkai paused in what he was doing. "What do you mean?"

Gojyo glared at his friend. "I mean," he said slowly. "That the cigarettes aren't in this lot."

Hakkai looked down at the scattered mess, a slight frown on his brow. "Well, I know we certainly purchased them. Perhaps they fell out of the bags whilst in the river? Though that does seem a little odd when everything else is in place."

"Will you two hurry up?" Sanzo called impatiently from where he was sitting in the jeep, Goku behind him. "We've got a long way to go still and we've wasted enough time already."

"Yes, of course," Hakkai said, moving to slide in behind the wheel.

Gojyo pushed himself to his feet, gave one final glare at the ruined supplies at his feet and then slouched over to the vehicle, swinging his long legs over the side to sit beside Goku.

"Are we all ready?" Hakkai asked, starting the engine.

"Hurry up and move it," Sanzo growled, settling back.

Hakkai hid a smile as he shifted into gear. "Of course," and they headed off down the path.

-oOo-

"Man, doesn't this just suck." Gojyo said, kicking at a small rock and watching it skitter down the passage into the darkness before them.

"Listening to you whine doesn't make it any better." was Sanzo's snappy response.

Gojyo raised an elegant eyebrow as he glanced at the monk beside him, walking with crossed arms and eyes half closed. "What's got your panties in a bunch?" he asked.

Sanzo turned his head to view the red-haired kappa at his side and sneered. "Apart from the fact that I've been chased by youkai re-animated corpses, lost in these passages beneath the town, and our original exit was so masterfully sealed by a stupid water sprite? You know, I don't know why I would be just a little bit pissed off at this stage!"

"Hey, if I hadn't blocked that entrance when we ran down here they'd have had our guts spilt all over the town by now!" Gojyo defended his actions. "You saw what they did to that poor traveller."

"Yeah, I saw." It would have been hard to miss; watching a person being pulled to pieces whilst they were still alive until their head came off with a pop which at least mercifully silenced the screams that had echoed through the mountains.

They walked further in silence, the torch in Gojyo's hand sending shadows racing across the stone walls.

"What do you think these passages are for?" Gojyo finally broke the silence. It had seemed like they had been walking for miles in this darkness with nothing more than their one small torch for light.

"How would I know?" Sanzo grumped.

"I thought you monks were supposed to be all learned and stuff?"

"I must have missed the structural engineering class." Sanzo sneered again.

"Great," Gojyo muttered under his breath. "How come I'm the one that has to be stuck down here with the prissy monk? Why couldn't it have been Hakkai?"

His thoughts went immediately to his friend and he began to worry again.

They had been pleasantly surprised when they had come upon this town which was not marked on the map. Not unusual really; many small communities could spring up across the country when enough people came to one area for what ever reason. Many of these never made it onto any map; having developed quickly around a particular reason and then gone just as quickly when that reason no longer existed. Plenty of small mining towns were like that.

So to find this place not on the map hadn't truly been strange. They had arrived during the early evening and everything had appeared so ordinary. The townspeople appeared pleasant, if not particularly conversational, but the food they had eaten had been good and plenty of it so even Goku had been satisfied, and the beds they had slept in had been clean and soft. He couldn't recall seeing anything that would have made him suspect this town had been anything other than what it was.

When they had awoken they had prepared to move on. Hakkai and Goku had left early have a look at the road ahead as they had been told that the route they had intended to take was impassable. If that had been the case they would have had to plan an alternate route. Whilst they did that, he and Sanzo had gone out to gather the supplies they needed. It was while they were doing this chore that they had seen that all was not quite well in this sleep little town.

They had barely walked down the first street when they had heard the first scream. It had startled them both, so unexpected in the morning silence. It had been followed by a second and they had both set off running in the direction it had come from. Rounding a corner they had come upon a gruesome sight.

There was a man, dressed as a travelling tinker, his cart and bags overturned and scattered across the road. He was held tightly by a number of people, townspeople that Gojyo even recognized from being in the inn the night before.

However, now they appeared to be something far from human. Even as he watched one dropped his head and teeth latched onto the traveller's ear, ripping it away in a fountain of blood. Gojyo watched in horror as the man chewed on the ear and swallowed before leaning down to lap at the blood gushing from the wound whilst the others around him all now dove forward, teach and hands ripping into flesh whilst the traveller's terrified screams increased

"Shit!" Sanzo had shouted, drawing his gun and firing towards the mob. One fell, obviously hit but then slowly rose again. Sanzo fired twice more, dropping his targets but they also did not remain down.

Gojyo now swung his weapon, the chain swishing outwards and sliced away an arm. The wounded man merely turned to face him, no indication of feeling any pain at the injury. Now others were appearing, coming from doorways and side streets, all converging on them.

The mob behind were still tearing into the hapless man they had captured and Sanzo and Gojyo could do little to help as he was literally torn and eaten alive, until finally his head was ripped from his shattered body.

Then all these creatures who had once been the townspeople turned towards them. They had tried to fight but there were too many and nothing they did seemed to have much effect. They seemed impervious to wounds, even when decapitated the corpse still continued on, hands outstretched. There was no consciousness in the blank eyes that stared at them, and now Gojyo could see their skin seemed grey and slimy, pieces sometimes sliding from their bodies showing gleaming bone beneath as they had putrefied.

He and Sanzo had had no other choice but to run. The problem was that although these people were not human any longer they still knew this town better than them and they were everywhere. They had barely escaped twice being cornered when they had been herded into blind corners so when they had come across this entrance down into passages beneath the town they had decided to take their chances.

So that is how he and Sanzo had ended up here. Now, knowing what the villagers really were, he couldn't help but wonder if their two missing friends had run up against the same problem. He didn't want to think that they might already be dead.

"Stop worrying," Sanzo's voice suddenly broke through his thoughts.

"I'm not," he denied, looking away.

"Yeah, right." Sanzo said with sarcasm.

"Well, aren't you a little concerned?" Gojyo shot back. "We don't know what's happened to the others."

"It really doesn't matter. We can't help them no matter what."

"Man, that's cold."

"It's the truth." Gojyo couldn't deny that but it didn't make him feel any better in hearing it said.

"Maybe, but can't you try and come up with something we can do to help 'em?"

"Like what? We're stuck down here and all we can do is keep walking forward because we can't go back. They'll have to look after themselves."

"They might need our help. We barely got away."

Sanzo looked over at him. "So do you have any better idea?"

Gojyo didn't answer. Sanzo was right. There wasn't anything he could do from where he was. He really did hope their two missing companions were safe and had managed to avoid the trap they had fallen into.

"Aw, crap!" he said in a defeated voice, coming to a halt.

"Good move, stupid, coming down here. What's your next brilliant idea?" Sanzo sneered.

They were looking directly at a solid stone wall, completely natural, not man-made.

Gojyo ran a hand over it trying to feel if there were any cracks or weaknesses that he might be able to do something with. If he could feel any air movement through those cracks it would mean that there was space on the other side and possibly a way out but he could detect nothing.

He heard the sound of rustling material and turned to see Sanzo seating himself on the floor, back leaning against the rock wall. He reached in and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it carefully.

"Give it up," he said to Gojyo. "We're not going anywhere that way."

Gojyo didn't bother arguing and sat down beside the monk, pushing the end of the torch he held between two rocks nearby to hold it upright. He leant his head back and looked up at the ceiling, watching the play of shadows.

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

"We wait." was Sanzo's even reply.

"For what?"

Gojyo heard the sound of clicking and turned his head to see Sanzo carefully reloading his gun, slipping each cartridge into its respective chamber before snapping it shut.

"Aw, shit," he half whispered, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes for a minute. "How long do you think it'll take?" he finally asked.

Sanzo blew out some smoke and Gojyo's nose twitched. He'd been without any cigarettes for a couple of days now as Sanzo refused to share, saying that he only had a few left himself. Yet over this time he was sure he had seen the monk smoke enough to warrant a couple of packets and he hadn't once shared with the water sprite. Gojyo was beginning to have visions of mugging the monk to steal what ever cigarettes he had left, except the idea of receiving a gut shot wound for his trouble didn't really appeal to him. He wasn't quite that desperate yet. Although it might be getting to that point.

Sanzo finally finished what he was doing, laying the gun by his side within easy reach and spoke.

"That all depends on what they are intending." he said, answering Gojyo's last question. "They may go to the trouble of breaking in right away, although that is going to take some time after the cave-in you caused. Or they may just leave us down here until we die and dig us out later. It's not like we're going anyway. Something they probably knew only too well in the first place."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I usually am."

"Ha," Gojyo snorted. "You don't have to sound so smug about it. You know you're insufferable, don't you?"

Sanzo gazed over at him, lip curled up in a sneer. "When I'm surrounded by idiots, it's difficult not to show my brilliance."

Gojyo just rolled his eyes and settled himself more comfortably against the rock wall. "So they might just leave us down here to die of starvation, huh? That's going to be pretty boring."

"I doubt we'll need to wait that long."

"Huh?"

Sanzo continued to smoke, exhaling before speaking. "I imagine we'll be dead from lack of oxygen long before then."

"Er? Gojyo knew he probably did sound stupid but it was all he could come out with.

Sanzo looked at him with some exasperation. "You mean you, a water sprite, haven't felt the way things are heating up down here? How there's no air flow? How the torch has been getting lower?"

Gojyo glanced at the still burning torch and now realized that Sanzo was right. What he had originally thought was the natural flickering that occurred as the flame was pushed by air currents he now saw, that since they had stopped moving, the flame had remained steady, and was very swiftly growing smaller.

He let out a deep sigh. "Well, it looks like it won't be that long a stay after all."

Sanzo snorted. "You really are a stupid kappa."

"Hey, just because I had other things on my mind that watching a torch burn out!"

"Oh, like what? Hakkai?"

"Shut up."

The last thing Gojyo wanted to do was discuss his feelings for his companion. As it was, what he felt was far too confusing and certainly not something he wanted to bring up with someone else, most especially not Sanzo.

They sat in silence for a time longer, Gojyo listening to the soft inhale and exhale as Sanzo smoked. He felt a trickle of sweat run down his temple.

"It is getting hot," he admitted, reaching up to brush the droplet away. The air was beginning to feel thicker as well as he breathed it in. He glanced over at Sanzo. "Hey, shouldn't we put out the torch or something? That's burning oxygen too."

"So you want to sit in the dark?"

Gojyo shrugged. "It doesn't really bother me but it will give us some more air at least."

"Do you really think it's going to matter that much?"

"So you don't think it'll give us much more time?"

Sanzo shrugged. "I'm no expert but if I'm going to die I may as well do it comfortably, not cringing in the dark like a mole. Besides, just what were you planning on doing with this supposed extra time? Got big plans or something?"

He had a point, Gojyo thought. The idea of sitting here in the dark just waiting to die really didn't appeal to him either. And more time still didn't give them any other options.

"Yeah, well, I guess it may as well keep burning then." he said.

"Hmm,"

Further silence settled between them.

"Man, it is getting warm down here," Gojyo finally said again. He'd tried to ignore the growing heat and the sweat beginning to trickle under his clothes but it had become more than he could bear.

"Then do something about it and stop whining!" Sanzo snapped, still dressed fully in his robes. "Your stupid talking is using up the air!"

Gojyo growled but refrained from responding. He was tempted to do the complete opposite just to spite the monk but his own discomfort won out. Quickly he stripped off his tunic, using his shirt to wipe his body down, removing sweat and grime. He grimaced at the soiled shirt but then shrugged as he dropped it to his side. It's not like he was going to need it again if he was dead.

"Put your hair up. It might make it cooler for you."

He turned in surprise at Sanzo's voice. The monk appeared to be sitting there with his eyes closed as though asleep.

Gojyo shrugged and stripped his bandana from his forehead and dragged the red strands back before securing them. He was right; it was cooler.

They sat in further silence, neither moving. Gojyo found the coolness of the rock against his bare back comforting although it didn't stop the sweat from continuing to slide down his body.

There was suddenly a rustle at his side and he turned his head to see Sanzo slipping his robe from his shoulders, letting it slither down to pool around his waist. Gojyo grinned. "Got a little warm for you finally, did it?"

"Shut up," Sanzo replied, as he stripped off the long black armlets and folded them carefully before slipping them into some hidden pocket within the robes.

It suddenly came to Gojyo just how much care Sanzo did give to his monk's robes. In so many ways Sanzo seemed completely unsuited to be a monk, especially a Sanzo. He didn't seem to care about anything really but he always took expert care of his robes and the sutra. Despite his claim to care for nothing, those two items in his life were certainly to the contraire.

He saw Sanzo hesitate for a moment and then swiftly grab the bottom of his black vest and stripped it over his head, leaving his chest bare and carefully going through the same process of folding and tucking it away.

Gojyo gazed at the half naked man by his side. Sanzo was all lean whipcord muscle, there was nothing soft about him. Now, in the dim light of the almost burnt out torch, he could see how Sanzo's skin gleam with sweat, seeing a droplet slide slowly down the sternum even as he looked, slipping over the taut stomach and lower. He felt himself grow hotter.

His thoughts were halted when he heard Sanzo give a small sigh of pleasure as he leant back against the cool rock.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" he said with a smirk.

"Whatever," was Sanzo's only reply

Gojyo leant back himself, closing his eyes for a moment. "Almost as good as a woman," he murmured.

"Thought you were trying to screw Hakkai?" Sanzo said bluntly.

"Huh?" Gojyo was startled by the unexpectedness of that statement and was glad the dim light hid his flush. "What gives you that idea?"

Sanzo snorted, shifting to make himself more comfortable. "You've been giving him the eye for months. In fact, you were giving him the eye even when I first met you both. I thought for sure that you had been screwing him back then."

"I never laid a hand on him," Gojyo defended. "Well, apart from having to stuff his guts back in when I first found him."

"Is that what got you all hot and bothered."

"Yeah, right," Gojyo said sarcastically. "I just love having blood up to my elbows and intestines wrapped around my wrists. It really makes me feel all fluffy and romantic."

"What ever rocks your boat."

"What about you and the monkey?" Gojyo shot back. "You've got a fetish for chains and fans. What does that say about you two?"

"Mind your own business!" Sanzo snapped, glaring.

"Then you do the same!" Gojyo returned the glare.

The silence this time seemed charged with anger, and something else as they both turned away from each other.

"Here,"

Gojyo looked back to Sanzo, seeing him holding out a cigarette.

"Thanks," he said gratefully, taking it. He wasn't going to knock it back and he didn't care that it burnt up even more oxygen. He was really dying for a smoke.

He leant forward so Sanzo could light it for him, taking note of how white the monk's hands were, how smooth, apart from a few calluses along the index finger. His trigger finger, he realized. Guess Sanzo has used that gun a fair bit, he thought.

"Thanks," he muttered again as he lifted his head and took the first drag. Ah, bliss, finally.

He glanced over at Sanzo. "Just how many of these do you have left?" he asked as the monk lit a cigarette for himself.

Sanzo reached into his robes and withdrew two cartons of cigarettes. Gojyo's eyes bulged.

"Where the hell did you get those from?!" he demanded, glaring at the monk. "I've been ready to kill for a smoke and you've been hoarding all these?!"

"Abstinence is good for the soul," Sanzo replied, not even bothering to look at the fuming kappa.

"So when did you get these?"' Gojyo said. "You never do any shopping!"

"They were the ones that we got in the last town." Sanzo replied calmly, blowing out some smoke.

"What? They were lost in the river!"' Gojyo stated flatly.

"No, I retrieved them."

"You mean," and Gojyo's voice dropped to a low growl. "You've had these all this time and haven't once shared them with me?!"

"Why should I?" Sanzo replied evenly. "I paid for them and we didn't know when we would be able to get any more. I intended to make them last."

"Why you…."

Gojyo was at a complete loss for words, his anger and nicotine-deprivation causing his mind to have trouble making any further coherent thoughts.

"Right then, that means now you can share!" and he lunged for the cartons placed between them.

"Like hell!" Sanzo snapped and leant forward at the same time.

They grappled together, their actions becoming more violent and forceful. This was no mock battle and their surroundings meant that there was more than one scrape and abrasion. Hair was pulled, clothing torn, hands clutched at sweat-slicked bodies, sliding across ribs, over pectoral muscles.

Gojyo felt one of Sanzo's hands slide over his chest, palm bumping over the nipple and the touch sent a bolt of fire straight to his groin that completely threw him. He felt that not just that small nub hardened at that contact. He bit back a moan as he tried to wrench his mind away from the thoughts that followed and instead tried to see if he could get Sanzo in a head lock.

He managed to get behind the monk, one arm raised under one of Sanzo's and cupping the back of his neck. He could feel the soft stands of hair tangling in his fingers whilst his other arm was wrapped around the monk's smooth chest, feeling the ribs resting against his arm.

He always did think that the monk was a little too thin and wondered if it was due to too much smoking and drinking and not eating properly, or if it was something more aesthetic about his religious calling. Either way he thought Sanzo could afford to put a little more meat on his bones.

Still, that didn't mean that he didn't think he looked good the way he was. Although Sanzo was a little on the thin side that didn't mean that he was a weakling or a push-over. Even now he could feel the rippling muscles under the skin beneath his hand. Despite appearances Sanzo was tough and wiry, not to mention stubborn.

He remembered what it had been like when they had first been defeated by that false Sanzo, the one who the misguided child had called God. That had been a tough fight.

He still remembered the pain, the blood, the battered and bruised bodies they had been left with.

He remembered sitting in the room watching over Sanzo who had screamed with nightmares that only he was aware of. Gojyo had often wondered since then what those nightmares had been about. What could make the Sanzo that he knew cry out with such pain and despair and anger? Then he wondered if he really wanted to know. There were some pains that were too much to share with others and perhaps Sanzo's were that.

He remembered watching Sanzo trying to leave that night when he finally awoke; barely able to move, weak as a new born kitten, yet still he had tried to leave. Even when he had fallen, his legs unable to hold his weight, he had dragged himself along the floor, fingernails digging between the cracks of the floorboards to pull himself inch by slow agonizing inch, every movement generating further pain through his tortured body.

But he hadn't given up, he had continued to persevere as Gojyo had sat smoking, silently watching him, not helping, not hindering. He could only watch in amazement at the sheer power of will, the intense drive this man had to succeed, to not be beaten, and he could only admire it.

However, even that indomitable will could not continue to override the physical. Finally the pain became too much and Sanzo had passed out on the floor, his breathing shallow and pained, blood seeping from re-opened wounds from his exertion.

Gojyo had stood then, in no little pain himself, and reached down, drawing one bare arm around his shoulder to lift the prone man from the floor. He dragged Sanzo back to the bed, dropping him onto the stained sheets, then wearily sagged to the floor beside him, raising his hands to rest his head in them for a moment as he felt like he wanted to weep. He had begged Sanzo to stay then. He had begged him with all his heart and to this day never knew if Sanzo had heard him or not.

He had feared back then; feared that he would lose all his friends. That journey up the mystical stairway had made him realize something; that he wasn't alone and he didn't have to be alone. These people were with him, even when they weren't physically by his side, they were inside him. He carried them with him everywhere he went.

How they had been able to worm themselves so deeply into his heart, mind and soul he didn't understand. He found so many things irritating about them yet he would not lose one part of them for anything. Everything about them, from their good points to their bad, he accepted them and wanted them to remain just that way.

That night Sanzo had appeared to be the worst hurt from this ordeal out of all of them. Perhaps because he was just a mortal with no advantages of demon blood as the rest of them had. He often forgot that Sanzo wasn't like them. He always seemed the strongest in so many ways that it was easy to forget that he was only a mortal, with all the frailties that went with that. Because of that he had truly feared that the monk may not survive that night.

In fact it was only that display of Sanzo's inner strength that had given him some hope again, despite the damage that it had done. Still he didn't want the monk killing himself in trying to do more than he could in his present state so he had resolved to stay there by his side.

Through the night he had watched over him; watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, gently wiped away the sweat from his brow, brushing back the blond hair from the closed eyes. He had tried his best to sooth the unconscious man when he became restless, talking to him in low tones, trying to calm his agitation, sometimes rubbing his chest in slow motions as though petting a beast. When Sanzo's breathing began to ease come morning he finally began to believe that he would live. After all, Sanzo's own will would not let him die.

Now, as they struggled in this rocky soon-to-be grave, he remembered all that, that cold clamping fear that seemed to sap his strength, clouding his mind, and the only warning he had was a sudden bunching of muscles as Sanzo twisted in his grip and tossed him over his shoulder.

He landed hard, the air knocked from his lungs and he only had time to gasp once before a heavy weight settled on his chest, crushing the brief gulp of air from his lungs.

Sanzo knelt above him, glaring. "You damn stupid kappa!" he snarled, grinding his knee down harder. Gojyo tried to cough but had no air to do it with. Sanzo didn't seem to notice. "Don't mess with me!"

Gojyo lashed upwards, the heel of his hand catching Sanzo under his chin, knocking him backwards and off him. He rolled to his side, choking and gasping as air rushed into aching lungs. Sanzo was lying a little distance away, shaking his head woozily after the jolt he'd received.

He didn't give him a chance to regain any further equilibrium, lunging at him and driving him back against the wall, one hand clasped around jaw and upper neck, using all his body weight to pin the other against the rock.

"Get your filthy hands off me!" Sanzo spat at him.

Gojyo took a deep breath, still easing his lungs. "Just calm down will you, you idiot monk?!" he growled back. "All I want is some bloody smokes!"

"Get your own fucking smokes!"

"I can't because you stole them all, you jerk!"

"Then try getting a job so you can buy your own, prick!"

"I would 'cept I've got to go traipsing all over the fucking world on a pathetically insane and probably hopeless journey with an uptight crazy son-of-a-bitch who claims to be a monk! That doesn't exactly leave any time for me to get a fucking job!"

"That's not my problem! I didn't ask you to come!" Sanzo yelled back. "I didn't have a choice!"

"Nether did I!" Gojyo shouted back.

They remained like that; nose to nose, hot breath striking each other's faces, violet eyes glaring up at red, neither backing down, bodies tense, muscles taut, panting hard and not just from the exertion but also the lowering oxygen levels.

Gojyo became aware of their close proximity then; the way he was leaning against Sanzo, their bare chests pressed against each other, his knee between Sanzo's legs pushed up against his crotch. Sanzo looked damn good just then; blond hair disheveled, eyes flashing, lips slightly parted so he could see the tip of a pink tongue. What would it feel like to capture those lips with his own, to plunge his tongue within and coax the other to do the same?

He felt himself respond immediately to that thought, his erection rising, pressing into Sanzo's leg. Damn it, he thought, half embarrassed. What the hell was he thinking? Why was this happening now?

He saw Sanzo's eye widen a little and then narrow. Shit, he thought, has he felt it? If he moved he was sure that Sanzo would take advantage and jump him and then he'd lose all hope of getting any further cigarettes. If he was going to die he wanted to do it with a smoke in his hand. It was the last pleasure he would be able to have. That was more important at this stage than being embarrassed that Sanzo could feel his arousal.

"Are you afraid to die?" Sanzo suddenly asked him.

"Huh?" He half released his grip on the man's neck before tightening it again.

"Are you deaf as well as stupid?" Sanzo snarled. "I asked if you were afraid to die."

Gojyo considered for a moment. "Nah. Not afraid, it's just a bummer." He grinned. "I had always intended to die in the arms of a beautiful woman you know, with a smile on my face. That would have been the ideal way to go."

"Well that would explain it then."

"What?"

"Your reaction to all this."

Gojyo's stomach dropped. Shit, he had noticed but he tried to make out that he didn't know what Sanzo was talking about. "What do you mean?"

Suddenly Sanzo's hand reached down and cupped his groin, squeezing lightly then releasing him just as suddenly. He couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped him at the all too brief contact.

"You're so focussed on bodily pleasures that now that you are faced with death that is all you can think about; your bloody smokes, and that."

A sudden push sent Gojyo toppling backwards to land on his butt, surprise at the turn of conversation having made him loosen his grip again.

Sanzo turned his head so he wasn't looking at him as he reached out and picked up one of the cartons and tossed it to him which Gojyo automatically caught.

"Here," he said, resettling himself more comfortably against the wall and removing another cigarette himself. "At least we can deal with that easily enough."

He lit up and then raised his eyes to look at Gojyo with a clear steady gaze. "What are you doing over there? If you want your smoke lit, get over here now."

Gojyo scrambled quickly over to Sanzo's side, settling beside him. Their bare shoulders were touching, slick skin against slick skin.

"Hurry up," Sanzo mumbled and Gojyo slipped a cigarette between his lips and leant forward so the end touched Sanzo's lit one.

Their faces were so close, eyes looking into eyes. Gojyo could see the quickening rise and fall of Sanzo's chest and felt his own heart rate speed up. This was almost like a kiss between them.

He slowly withdrew, almost reluctantly, and inhaled, drawing the smoke into his lungs, still looking at Sanzo as he also leant back a little, although their shoulders remained touching. He allowed his hand to fall to his side, landing gently on Sanzo's thigh, feeling the muscles bunch up under his touch then slowly relax. He did nothing more, just let it lie there as they smoked in silence.

The pressure in his groin was increasing, as was the pressure in his lungs. The torch was nothing more than a single dying ember as the oxygen levels dropped to a point where it could no longer sustain it. His own body was beginning to feel the effects, becoming light-headed and his breathing shallow pants. Sazno sounded the same.

It won't be long now, he thought, taking another drag of his cigarette. This is the last chance, and to hell with everything!

He dropped the cigarette and turned to look at Sanzo, reaching out to the other man, hands gripping bare arms and sliding over clammy skin. Sanzo didn't pull away, in fact Gojyo felt a touch upon his own chest at the same time.

"Sanzo…" he began, leaning in, eyes fixed on the lips that he wanted to taste.

Suddenly there was a loud explosion, dust and debris raining down upon them, and harsh light splitting the darkness. He threw up his hands to protect himself from the cascading dirt and heard Sanzo swearing as he did the same.

"Hey, are you two okay?" a familiar voice called out.

He looked up to see Goku staring down at them from a large hole, hanging down dangerously.

"Watch it, you stupid monkey, before you fall down as well!" Sanzo snapped.

"They're all right!" Goku said with relief to Hakkai who was kneeling beside him.

Hakkai smiled down as well. "I'm glad we were in time. Sorry for the delay. I trust you were able to amuse yourself whilst you waited?"

"Yeah, we had a wow of a time," Gojyo called to his friend, casting a quick glance at Sanzo. The monk didn't look once at him. "You took your time."

"Ah, yes, well, we had a few things to tidy up first." Hakkai said in his usual manner of understatement.

Goku dropped a rope down and Sanzo gripped it, giving a few tugs. "I gather that you've settled it all then?" he said before beginning to make his way up.

"Oh yes, there is nothing left to worry about. However I would still suggest that we look at leaving as soon as possible." Hakkai replied.

"Suits me," Gojyo said, grabbing the rope and following Sanzo.

When he reached the lip Hakkai swiftly assisted him to solid ground.

"Thanks," he said with a smile to his friend.

"Any time," Hakkai replied. "I'm very pleased to see you still in one piece, though it looks like your wardrobe suffered along the way." Obviously referring to Gojyo's lack of shirt.

"Aw, you know me. Nothing keeps me down." Gojyo answered with a grin.

"That's only too true. You seem to be 'up' more than anything else." Sanzo put in suddenly.

Gojyo caught the emphasis on the word 'up' and hoped that he was the only one. He knew perfectly well that Sanzo was referring to his state of arousal earlier. Fortunately it had eased on the climb up so there was no evidence to be seen before their friends.

"Can we get some food before we go, Sanzo, huh?" Goku demanded, hopping impatiently from one foot to another. "I'm starving!"

"What ever," Sanzo replied. "Just hurry up about it. I want to get out of here now."

"Come on, Hakkai," Goku said, grabbing the healer's hand and dragging him along. "You too, Gojyo. We need to get lots of supplies!"

Hakkai laughed as he was dragged along, throwing a backward glance at Gojyo who was following.

"Don't forget the smokes," a voice called out causing Gojyo to stop.

He slowly turned his head to look back, seeing Sanzo watching him steadily. He was slowly dressing, sheathing his body in first the black tunic, before pulling his robes over his shoulders. In moments he was back to being a monk, but Gojyo couldn't get the image of warm flesh and hands touching him from his mind.

"You need that one pleasure in life, don't you?" Sanzo said, turning away.

Gojyo breathed in deeply, glancing away also. "Yeah, I guess I do," and he turned and followed Goku's voice as he listed off the foods that he wanted to take with them.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Saiyuki', nor am I making any profits

Chapter 5

"Damn it!" Kougaiji's fist lashed out towards the wall but before it could connect with the cold hard stone it was captured in a warm palm, so although his momentum could not be completely halted it was not his hand that suffered hurt as he felt the shock of the impact run up his arm.

"Idiot!" he snapped, snatching his arm away and grasping Dokugakuji's wrist, drawing the wounded hand closer to examine it. He gazed at the split and jagged skin, blood welling from the damage to slowly drip over the sides to the floor, the gleam of white bone under the redness.

"Don't worry. It's fine." Dokugakuji said with a smile, trying to withdraw his hand from Kougaiji's grip.

Kougaiji ignored his attempt to escape, retaining his firm grip as he continued to assess the damage. It didn't look like anything had broken but it was going to take some time to heal fully.

"You're not," he stated bluntly, removing his sash and binding the hand swiftly. He heard Dokugakuji hiss, knowing it was hurting him and only becoming angrier at his friend's pain. Dokugakuji was always getting hurt because of him. It was always his fault his friend kept suffering.

Just like Ni Jianyi had said.

Kougaiji glared up at Dokugakuji as he tied the makeshift bandage tightly to reduce the blood flow, his own anger building at the remembered confrontation he had just left moments before.

"Stop interfering!" he snapped, more harshly than he would normally before turning his back on his friend.

"Can't help it," The soft response came from behind as Dokugakuji continued, "Even if you ask me to, I couldn't."

Kougaiji looked over his shoulder, a scowl still on his face, his anger in no way abated.

Dokugakuji grinned at him sheepishly, his uninjured hand rising to scratch the back of his head a little self-consciously. "So you can rant and rave all you like but I really can't help it. I can't just stand back and watch you get hurt. No matter what you say I'll always be there."

"Then you're a fool,"

Dokugakuji laughed, that deep warm chuckle that Kougaiji had become accustomed to hearing so often.

"Yeah, well, that's me!" He smiled at his lord. "I'll follow any order you give me, Kou. If you say die for you, I would, gladly. If you say kill for you, I would do so because I trust your decision. But if you tell me to leave you, that I'll never do."

Kougaiji turned away again so Dokugakuji wouldn't see the raw emotion in his eyes at these words.

"I guess there's no cure for a fool." he finally muttered.

Dokugakuji's loud laugh made him turn again to see his friend leaning against the open window ledge. "Nope. I guess there's not."

There was silence for a moment then Kougaiji walked over to stand beside Dokugakuji, gazing outside.

"So what got you all bent out of shape?" Dokugakuji asked finally, seeking the answer to his Lord's obvious irritation.

Kougaiji didn't say anything in response, maintaining a stony silence.

"Gyokumen?" Dokugakuji hazarded a guess. It wasn't too hard to figure out really. She was probably the only one to be able to rile Kougaiji so much, she and Ni Jianyi, her pet.

He heard Kougaiji give a sigh, before he answered, "Yeah."

"So what does that witch want you to do now?"

Kougaiji glanced over at him, his face expressionless. "Find a renegade."

Dokugakuji's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Huh? You mean one of us? She doesn't want you going after Sanzo and the others?"

"That's right."

Dokugakuji chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, frowning. "That's weird," he finally said. "Since when has she sent you off to do cleanup duty? That's usually allocated to one of her loyal crews. So why you?"

"I don't know." Kougaiji admitted. "She didn't give me much to work on. He's supposed to be fairly powerful, able to animate the dead plus some illusionary abilities."

Dokugakuji shrugged. "That doesn't sound like a real big deal. There are others that could handle that." He eyed Kougaiji. "If she's sending you there's got to be a catch."

"There is. She wants him alive."

"Eh?" Dokugakuji was completely stunned into silence. "Wow! That's not like her at all."

"No, it's not, which means he must have something that the she wants very much."

"And you don't know what it is, or you would make certain she didn't get it, right?"

"Exactly."

"Hmm, so that's what got you all pissed off."

"Yeah."

Dokugakuji looked hard at him as something his voice alerted him that there was more. "That's not all, is it? Come on, Kou, spill it."

Kougaiji didn't look at him and the silence stretched so long that Dokugakuji was just about to question his Lord again suddenly he spoke.

"How's Yaone been?" Kougaiji asked instead of answering Dokugakuji's question.

"Yaone?" Dokugakuji blinked a couple of times, thrown by the abrupt change of subject. "Ah, fine I guess. Why do you ask?"

"You don't think she's been acting a little…different?"

"From what?"

"From usual. Since that time."

"What time?" Dokugakuji was feeling more and more confused. He couldn't figure out where Kougaiji was going with this. What did this have to do with his mission?

"From when she and that Hakkai…." Kougaiji's voice trailed off.

Ah, Dokugakuji thought, so that was it. He hid his smile. He had always found Kougaiji and Cho Hakkai quite similar in many ways. They both had this intensity, a feeling of depth to them that was far beyond what you saw on the surface. He was sure Yaone thought the same. So did Kougaiji think that something went on between Yaone and Hakkai that night? Was Kougaiji jealous? Dokugakuji mulled the thought over for a moment. Yaone and Hakkai. He didn't know how he felt about it either. Perhaps Kougaiji wasn't the only one that was jealous.

He blocked those thoughts and returned to the current conversation, looking to allay his Lord's concerns. "Well, she seems okay. I mean, she's not acting worried about anything."

"No, she's not.."

"In fact," Dokugakuji couldn't help but tease his lord a little now, ignoring his own uncertainties. "She's been looking pretty happy lately."

He saw Kougaiji's hand clench into a fist at his side. Looks like he touched a chord there.

"Yeah, she has." was the curt response.

The silence stretched on as Dokugakuji continued to watch his friend and Lord. Finally he heard Kougaiji give a soft sigh before turning to sit on the ledge beside him.

"So what are you goanna do?" Dokugakuji asked.

Kougaiji eyed him. "About what?"

"Gyokumen."

"I'll go."

"But you don't want to."

"I don't have any choice." Kougaiji stood. "She holds all the cards. She always has."

"I'll come with you." Dokugakuji said standing also, ready to follow.

"No," Kougaiji said, pulling Dokugakuji up short. "Not this time."

"Why not?" Dokugakuji's chin stuck out belligerently.

"Because I don't know what I'm going in to."

"So what else is new?" Dokugakuji shrugged.

"I mean it," Kougaiji said fiercely, placing a hand flat on Dokugakuji's chest.

Although Kougaiji stood shorter than he, he could feel the strength behind that touch, a strength that exceeded his own by far.

"I intend to scout the place first. I have no intention of just going in there blind despite what that witch might wish for. So I don't need you there."

"Kou," Dokugakuji began but shut up as he saw the challenge in Kougaiji's eyes. He heaved a deep sigh, letting it out in a loud whoosh, his brow creasing in a frown. "Okay. But you'd better stay out of trouble, you hear?"

He saw the corner of Kougaiji's mouth twitch as though a smile was beginning but it disappeared quickly as he removed his hand.

"So what do you want me to do in the mean time?" Dokugakuji asked a little sullenly, still not happy about being left behind whilst his Master went off.

"Stay here and keep an eye on things for me. I don't know if Gyokumen or Ni Jianyi is looking to make a move on either Yaone or Lirin. I want you to look after them."

Dokugakuji looked no happier from being given this task so Kougaiji continued. "I won't be here. I need you to do this for me." He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about all of this. Although neither Gyokumen nor Ni Jianyi had openly threatened any of them, there had been an undercurrent in their voices when they had mentioned his friends' and sister's names that made him very uneasy. He needed to know that they would be kept safe whilst he was gone. There was nothing else he could do.

"Only if you promise me you'll be careful and do nothing stupid. Case the place out and then if you need more muscle come and get me. That's what I'm here for." Dokugakuji stated firmly, trying to bargain with him.

"I'll do as I please! Don't think you can order me around!" Kougaiji snapped angrily, his worry over everything getting the better of him.

Dokugakuji glared down at him. "Don't think you can just go off and get yourself killed! I'm supposed to watch your back. That's my job!"

Kougaiji's fist lashed out and struck him across the face, knocking him to his knees. He looked up to see him glaring down at him fiercely, both hands clenched in fists, anger radiating from him like a blood-red aura.

"Remember your place!" Kougaiji growled, eyes narrowed.

Dokugakuji slowly returned to his feet, not bothering to wipe the trickle of blood coming from his split lip as he stood before his Lord with bowed head. "As you command." he answered in a completely monotone voice, not even looking at the man before him.

The silence stretched on then he saw two gloved hands reach out and grip his shirt front.

"You don't know how damn hard it is for me!" Kougaiji hissed.

Dokugakuji raised his eyes to look down at his Lord. The anger was still there but there was always something else in those red eyes.

"You and the others, you're a liability to me. You are my weakness, my only weakness that that bitch and her perverted scientist can use to manipulate and twist me to doing what they want."

Dokugakuji felt the material begin to tear within that fierce grip as it tightened further.

"Every time we go somewhere I worry about you all. I worry if you are going to be hurt, I worry about if you are going to die. You are all so damn stupid as to always be trying to protect me. Me! When I'm the strongest out of all of you! Why the hell do you think that I need protecting?!"

"Because you are our Lord. It is what we swore." Dokugakuji answered.

"Then unswear it!" Kougaiji shouted. "Get a life and stop trying to throw it away for me!"

"To do that, you are asking me to cut out my heart." Dokugakuji replied evenly.

They maintained eye contact for a moment longer and for a split second Dokugakuji thought he would be struck again for his insolence. Instead, Kougaiji dropped his head so his forehead rested on Dokugakuji's broad chest.

He caught his breath at the sudden contact, feeling the warmth of Kougaiji's brow on his bare skin, could feel the silkiness of his hair brush against his flesh sending miniscule electrical jolts through every nerve ending. He suppressed the shiver that wanted to course through his body with difficulty although his fingers tightened reflexively on the shoulders they had come up to grip.

"Why do you stay?" the muffled question rose to him.

"Where else would I go?" Dokugakuji answered honestly.

"You have a family, a brother. You should be with him. Family's important."

"I am with family, the only family that means anything to me."

"If you stay with me you will probably end up dead."

Dokugakuji shrugged. "Maybe. But I don't die that easily as you know, and I don't plan on doing so any time in the near future. I can look after myself."

He tried to awkwardly stroke the shoulders he held. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you."

He felt Kougaiji's sigh in the way his shoulders lifted under his hands. "Forget it. It's not your problem, it's mine. If I had been smarter I would never have taken you and Yaone into my service. I didn't do either of you any favours by doing so."

"You saved us both." Dokugakuji reminded him. "That's means a hell of a lot to us."

"Saved you, just to make you a target in Gyokumen's manipulative games. Hardly a good deal."

"That's not your doing"

"You think not?" Kougaiji continued. "All this time I've been fighting to try and save my mother, the queen of demons. If she returns I would rule by her side as a demon prince but it's a title I don't deserve. A demon prince has to be able to maintain a calm, clear perspective in all matters, and that sometimes means making the hard decisions and even making sacrifices for the greater good. That is how one rules.

Now, I can't do that any more. I find it difficult to keep that clear perspective when it comes to not just Yaone but also you. I've become weak because of that attachment and yet," Kougaiji paused for a moment. "I can't help it. It is how I feel and I know deep in my heart that I wouldn't want to give it up. Not even if it meant throwing away the chance to rule at the side of my mother."

Dokugakuji didn't know what to say. He knew how deeply Kougaiji loved his mother. Everything he had been fighting for had been to bring his mother back, to save her. To hear him say that he was prepared to give up something like this for someone like him was incredible.

Kougaiji continued in that soft even voice. "I should have been so much stronger to achieve this goal. I should have been ruthless, uncaring, brushed everything aside to gain what I wanted, regardless of what harm I did. That is what Gyokumen and Ni Jianyi do, that is how they have achieved the power they have and how they hold that power even now. That is the way a demon prince should be."

Kougaiji paused for a moment and Dokugakuji wondered if he was going to continue when he spoke again. "But when I have done that, when I have tried to be like that, it has been you who has stopped me. You who have called me back from the precipice that I would be standing on, between being a true ruler and a tyrant. You are my rock, the steadying presence at my side, which can be a weapon if I throw it, or a place to sit and rest when I am weary. You are my conscious, and even though I may curse you at times, without you I would be no better than Gyokumen and all of you would suffer for it. I cannot lose that. I cannot leave my conscious for it is like asking me to stop breathing."

Dokugakuji felt the blood pounding through his veins like a thundering roar, his body on fire and his thoughts reeling. Never had Kougaiji spoken like this to him, never had they seemed to touch upon such raw emotions and he didn't know whether he should be glad or terrified of what it meant. But whatever the reason for this sudden baring of souls, whatever the reason for this confession it made his heart sing and brought a lump to his throat and a tear to his eye.

"You," He tried to keep his voice steady but the slight waver in it betrayed him. "You know I'm here for you." he managed to say. "I'll always be by your side, no matter what happens. My only place in this world is by your side."

Kougaiji remained silent, staying where he was, not moving, his head rising and falling with every breath Dokugakuji took.

Dokugakuji held himself very still, feeling Kougaiji's warm breath gust over his skin, warming his flesh and creating other delightful if disturbing sensations in other portions of his anatomy. He meant it though. It didn't matter about his past life or what happened in the future. The only thing that was important was this man who he had sworn his oath to and nothing would ever break that.

Suddenly he heard Kougaiji draw in a deep breath. His hand clutched in Dokugakuji's shirt, tightening slightly more, material bunching up and tugging against his shoulders, knuckles brushing onto his chest.

"You really are a fool." he said quietly, pushing away abruptly and turning his back on Dokugakuji.

Dokugakuji tried to calm his still fast beating heart as he replied. "Depends on your view," he said.

"Humph!" was Kougaiji's only response which made him smile.

"So you are going now?" Dokugakuji asked, taking a step back and giving his Lord some further space.

"Yeah."

"Right then, I'll keep an eye on things here. You just watch yourself, remember."

"Yeah." Kougaiji agreed reluctantly.

Dokugakuji smiled at this. "Then it's a deal."

Kougaiji began to walk away. "Don't forget," he called back to Dokugakuji , without looking.

"Don't you," Dokugakuji warned.

This did make Kougaiji glance over his shoulder although he didn't stop walking. Even though he said nothing Dokugakuji gave a sharp nod of his head in acknowledgement to the silent agreement between them.

He remained where he stood, watching that straight back, long flaming red hair swinging down the length, cutting across the customary white clothing like a splash of blood. Each step was firm, no hesitation in it, always moving forward with purpose. That was Kougaiji all over. Nothing would stop him when he made up his mind. Any decision he made, be they right or wrong, he accepted it was by his own choice and went on, seeing it through to the end.

He continued to watch his Lord until the figure turned a corner and was lost to view.

No, Dokugakuji would never leave this man. There was nothing in any realm, be it heaven or earth that would induce him to do so


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first

Fandom: Saiyuki

Author's Note: This story will continue on as the rating will be going up.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of 'Saiyuki', nor am I making any profits

Chapter 6

Hakkai plunged back into the woods, putting some distance between himself and his pursuers. As he ran his thoughts turned to his friends.

He hoped that Goku had made it back to the town by now and had managed to avoid further harm. They had been caught completely unawares by the ambush sprung on them earlier this morning. The change in the previously normal seeming townspeople into mindless ravenous zombies had been surprising and unnerving to say the least. Both he and Goku had suffered some hurt before they had realized that there was no misunderstanding and been able to respond in kind although even the brutalness of their return attack seemed to do nothing to protect them.

Of course, both of them had realized at the same time that if this was the true state of the towns people then it was most likely not just an isolated few that were there attacking them. And in that case the others were also in danger. The knowledge that Sanzo may be in severe difficulties made Goku go wild, yelling and screaming at the zombies to get out of his way.

The problem was that no matter what either of them did in their current zombified state the town's people seemed to be almost indestructible. Broken bones, lost limbs, all seemed to do nothing more than slow them down for a moment. As soon as they cleared one group away they rose again, reanimated by some other force that Hakkai could not see. He had wondered if it was like Cho?? and his use of the mahjong tiles. Perhaps this was what was happening. It didn't seem like quite the same but he was no expert on such matters. All he knew was that they were in trouble.

He and Goku had then decided that the best thing was for them to split up. Their foes did not seem to deplete in numbers and they were sure to be overwhelmed by the sheer mass of bodies soon if they act quickly. He was using his up his chi quicker than it could replenish and Goku too had begun to take a heavy beating despite his immortality. So in an effort to split their opponents' numbers they had decided to separate with the hope they could dispose of each individual group before circling back to return to the town. So, on the count of three, they had parted, each heading in the opposite direction; Hakkai hoping to draw the majority away whilst Goku made a break towards the town in the hope of getting back there to warn Gojyo and Sanzo in time.

He kept running, knowing he had not shaken his pursuers. He didn't know how many zombies were still with him. Unless he was able to totally destroy them, so they were nothing more than dust they just kept getting up, picking up severed limbs and holding them in place as they reattached before shambling onwards. This constant fighting had depleted his chi powers now to very low levels so fleeing was the only other option at this stage.

He worried about the others, especially Gojyo and Sanzo. They had left them alone back in the town, not thinking there was any problem, expecting to be able to rejoin in them in a couple of hours. When they had left things had been peaceful, a tranquil morning with nothing to disturb it apart from Sanzo's grumbling until he had his morning coffee. All the people they had seen or met the previous evening still seemed the same, quiet yes, but still they had seemed human. None of them had been expecting there to be any trouble. They had obviously been mistaken in that assumption but there was not much he could do about it now.

He paused to catch his breath, leaning back against a tree, closing his eyes for a moment and focusing inwardly to ascertain his damage. Hmm, not too bad. Not good, but not too bad considering. Some bruises, some cuts from more than one close call, the worst being his inner chi and only time and rest would solve that. Neither of which he could indulge in at the moment.

A sixth sense made his eyes snap open and he threw himself to the side, diving for cover as three knives flashed through the air to embed themselves in the trunk where he had been standing but a moment before.

He scrambled away, not waiting to see who his assailants were. It really didn't matter. All he needed to know was that they were trying to kill him. That, and there were more of them and they would wear him down eventually at this rate. He was also at the disadvantage that his foes knew this area better than he and could cut him off or get ahead of him if he wasn't careful. He had already noticed that they were ensuring that he was getting no nearer to the town. Every time he made to move in that direction the attacks intensified and he would be forced to veer away.

He ran on once more until he was forced to rest again, stopping and leaning over to rest his hands on his knees, taking in deep gulps of air to his burning lungs. He had thought that he was pretty fit but he wouldn't be able to continue to go on at this grueling pace forever. Sooner or later he would run out of energy completely and have to stop. When that happened there was every chance that he wouldn't survive the encounter. A depressing thought.

His hand involuntarily reached up to touch the silver clamps on his ear, fingering them as he pondered his predicament. When realized what he was doing he quickly snatched his hand away. He did not want to do that. That would definitely have to be the last resort. The very last resort – for everyone.

A crackling of foliage to his right set him off running again. Damn it, what should he do? If he stood and fought all he did was knock them down and they got up again. They weren't fully youkkai or they would disintegrate upon contact with his chi powers. So they were actually human, or had been at one time. Now he just wasn't sure what they were nor how to defeat them. Brute force alone obviously wasn't the answer.

Hakkai paused at the river to drink, letting the cool moisture sooth his parched throat, eyes flicking around him, senses alert. He had a split second warning that he wasn't alone and only enough time to roll aside as an axe swung through the space his head had been. He sent that attacker stumbling back, skin sizzling and yet it made no sound nor showed any discomfort, instead merely standing whilst globules of charred flesh withered and fell from the body to land on the ground with a wet squelching sound.

Hakkai didn't have much time to register anything more as others erupted from the trees and rushed towards him, brandishing weapons, silent and deadly. He immediately created a barrier, shielding him at the front and sides with the stream at his back and watched as they broke upon the front, knocked off their feet only to regain them again and begin to pound on the shield.

He considered his options. He could keep the shield up for some time as it was not as draining on his chi powers as an actual attack, but he could not hold it forever as they continued to pound on it viciously.

There really wasn't much else he could do. He would have to make one all out concerted attack and hope that it would be enough to give him time to make his escape once more.

He had just determined that he would put all his energy into one final burst of power, making the shield into a weapon instead when something hard hit him in the back. He stood frozen for a moment, then blinding pain shot through him, ripping a strangled scream from his throat, and he stumbled forward from the force of the blow.

His shield crumpled at the same time he did and he knew he was in dire danger. Desperately he tried to reach his hand to his ear to remove his limiters as his attackers closed in around him with weapons raised, many already stained with blood. He struggled to command his own body but he was having great difficulty and he realised that he wasn't going to make it as the sunlight flashed on the sharp metal descending towards his helpless body.

Sorry, he whispered regretfully in his mind to his absent friends, watching death rush towards him.

Suddenly there was blazing power all around him, searing his flesh, singeing his clothes, flames in a raging inferno. He tried to turn his head away from the burning heat but that simple act was finally too much and darkness stole his vision.

-oOo-

Hakkai opened his eyes slowly, face feeling stiff and dry, lips sore and cracked. He blinked a couple of times to clear his vision, feeling the grittiness in his eyes, longing to rub the itch that seemed to be building there but he felt too lethargic to move to do so.

He blinked again and drew in a deep breath, and coughed as the air rasped against the back of his throat and irritated his lungs.

"So you're finally awake?" a voice said from the darkness.

Hakkai peered across the space before him, past the small fire burning in a depression, to the shadows beyond, realising that he appeared to be in a small cave.

Kougaiji stepped into the light of the fire and looked down at him.

"So it would seem," Hakkai replied hoarsely and gingerly tried to sit up.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Kougaiji said as Hakkai collapsed back on his side at the stab of pain that cut through him, breathing hard, winded from that small effort. "You took an arrow directly in the back.''

Kougaiji held out a small flask and slipped a hand beneath Hakkai's head, lifting it so he could place his lips over the opening. Hakkai drank greedily as the cool water soothed his throat.

"Not too much, or you'll be sick." Kougaiji cautioned withdrawing the flask.

Hakkai didn't try to stop him although he still felt thirsty, knowing he was right. "Thanks," he said.

Kougaiji stoppered the flask and returned to sit cross-legged by the fire.

"How bad is it?" Hakkai asked, referring to his wound as he sent threads of power through his own body to see what damage was there.

"It grazed the spine." Kougaiji stated. "You're very lucky. A hair's width further and you'd either be dead or crippled. There are limits to my healing power. And yours, I imagine." Kougaiji stirred the fire a little, sending up a shower of sparks.

"You healed me?" Hakkai said calmly, hiding his surprise.

"Do you see anyone else here?" was Kougaiji's rather sharp reply.

"Ah," Hakkai remembered the events prior and things suddenly clicked into place. "So that was your doing at the river also? I guess I have you to thank for saving my life then as well."

Kougaiji shrugged, seeming a little discomfited at not only the thanks but the fact that he had actually helped an enemy. "You obviously weren't doing too well on your own." He glanced over at Hakkai. "I dislike seeing uneven fights," as though that adequately explained his interference.

Hakkai half smiled. "Of course," he said, being certain to keep any humour from the tone of his voice.

Kougaiji truly did have a strong noble steak, something that seemed surprising in a demon prince and yet Hakkai couldn't truly imagine him without it. What was it Yaone had said about why she stayed with Kougaiji? That he was a prince not due to his birthright but because of his innate nobility.

Hakkai found he was actually in total agreement with her and in a way always had been. Kougaiji had always been a bit of an enigma from the first moment Hakkai had met him when he arrived to save Yaone from suiciding because she had failed to kill them. The obvious caring and lengths he would go to, to protect his loved ones was something that Hakkai more than admired. In some ways he felt a little jealous at times of the open affection that Kougaiji and his followers expressed for each other.

However, musing about such matters was not helping him in these current circumstances. He had his own concerns and he had to do something about it. He didn't know how Goku was faring and that still left the fate of Gojyo and Sanzo unknown also. He had his own people to help and now was not the time to be worrying about anyone else.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, sending more of his power towards his wound. He had to try and heal quickly, at least enough for him to be able to move, if he was to be in any shape to help his friends. It hurt. His reserves were dangerously depleted and the injury was severe, if not fatal. But he still had to keep trying.

"Don't over do it," The sharp voice startled him, snapping him out of his semi-trance.

He opened his eyes to see Kougaiji staring hard at him, a frown on his face.

"Your body won't take that kind of strain."

"I'll be fine." Hakkai said, giving one of his false smiles.

Kougaiji seemed to see right through it as he snorted disdainfully. "Sure you are," he said sarcastically. "When you've finished bleeding all over my cape I might believe you."

Hakkai glanced down to realise that he was in fact lying on Kougaiji's cloak. "Sorry," he said, noting too the dark, wetly gleaming stain spreading from under him.

"Just stop trying to be stupid, and lie still." Kougaiji said, dismissing his apology.

"That would be very pleasant to be able to do but unfortunately I do have someplace I need to be." Hakkai murmured, trying to lie more comfortably on his side without jarring his wounded body any more than he had to, although that wasn't easy. "Those zombies are still out there and the others may be in danger."

Kougaiji looked at him silently for a moment. "Is killing your self for them really worth it?" he questioned. "You're not going to be much help if you're dead."

Hakkai smiled at him. "Oh, I don't intend to die, at least not yet, but I do need to leave as soon as possible. To which end I need to try and heal as quickly as possible. I'm sure you understand."

Kougaiji continued to just look at him as thought he still thought he was being foolish and didn't speak again.

Hakkai tried again to turn his power internally and focus on healing though it was even more difficult this time than the first as the pain increased now he was more aware of it. The sound of movement broke his poor concentration again and he opened his eyes to see Kougaiji stand abruptly, coming over to kneel beside him.

He gazed down with those red eyes that reminded Hakkai so much of Gojyo's and yet were completely different. Gojyo's eyes were frequently filled with humour, Kougaiji's eyes were like the fiery depths of a volcano where the lava slowly sat, still and calm, but the threat of eruption was always there. The firelight from behind framed his head, his long hair falling over his shoulder, the marks on his cheek seeming to glow. Everything about him made him seem like the demon he was, but it didn't seem right that such a one looked so beautiful that it stole your breath.

"Guess there's no helping it then," Kougaiji said suddenly.

He reached out and Hakkai felt himself automatically tense up at the expected danger from one who was to all intents and purposes his enemy, but instead Kougaiji placed his hands gently on his body, one on his chest, the other reaching around to rest on his back. Hakkai couldn't prevent the way his body jerked at the sudden contact, knowing Kougaiji would be able to feel the way his heart was pounding in his chest.

Kougaiji met his gaze and for a moment they just looked at each other silently, eyes and hands joining them. Then Kougaiji closed his eyes and began to whisper something, so softly that Hakkai could not make out what he was saying. He was no longer afraid of what might happen. If Kougaiji intended him ill then it would be easy enough for him to do it. Hakkai was certainly in no shape to stop him. If he had wanted to kill him there would have been no need to save him in the first place for his death had been assured at that moment. Even now, if Kougaiji truly intended to kill him he certainly didn't need to be this close to do it. He could have remained seated at the fire and simply crushed or burnt Hakkai out of existence with nothing more than a wave of a hand and a few spoken words. So, no, Hakkai didn't believe any longer that Kougaiji intended him harm.

Yet still it felt strange. Hakkai usually kept himself away from human contact. He didn't like to be touched and that stemmed from many things, thoughts and feelings from his past and what he now was. The only people he'd had any real contact with had been Gojyo, Sanzo and Goku. The only other times he had allowed himself some contact with other people had been at his choosing, Yaone being the last. So he was unused to having another touch him in this way.

Kougaiji continued to chant, keeping his eyes closed and his hands in place. Hakkai began to feel a warm tingling begin in his body, centred where Kougaiji's hands rested. He noticed that the dimness of the cave began to decrease as Kougaiji's aura seemed to slowly grow brighter.

Hakkai shuddered, sensing his body beginning to try to heal, flesh knitting back together, blood vessels sealing, deep bruising reducing as the swelling receded. He moaned, as his own eyes closed, plunging him into darkness as his body writhed under those hands.

It was an intimate moment, erotic to say the least. He knew full well that such a feeling came with the touch, the sense of power flowing through it, racing along nerve endings, delving into the deepest portion of body, heart, mind and soul. It was a confusion of pain and pleasure and a combining of them both that made this intimacy so different from any you were likely to experience and it left the body craving for more.

Hakkai was used to this feeling in a way. It was what he experience every time he healed himself, and to a lesser extent when he healed others because there was an obvious backlash when two people were so closely connected during this process. But he had never had someone do this to him before. He'd generally only ever been healed in the usual mundane and ordinary manner and simply finished off the rest himself using his powers. He'd never experienced a full healing before and it seemed as though he had no control over his body as it reacted how it wished to under this power.

So all he could do was lie there, not silently or still, but moaning and writhing, hands clenching in the cloak that lay beneath him, one hand flailing to land on a hard thigh, bunching in the soft material as he arched under the fiery touch that was delving deep inside him. He could hear himself panting, short sharp gasps, and began to realise that Kougaiji's voice had changed also. His chant was more ragged and hoarse, punctuated with small gasps as well as his hands pressed harder against Hakkai's body, brushing against bare skin.

The intensity continued to build, climbing higher, pushing Hakkai to the limit until with a loud shout he bucked under the touch and his other hand tangled in soft strands which he clenched hard as he heard a corresponding echo to his own before he collapsed back to the ground, exhausted.

His senses returned in a moment as he breathed in deeply. His body felt completely wrung out, drained of all energy in one way and yet there was no pain now. A quick internal check showed that his wound was almost completely healed, a miraculous feat in itself, but not only that there was a now a well of renewed energy within himself that he would be able to draw upon. He knew that it was not from his own natural recuperation. That power had been passed to him.

It was then that he realised that there was a heavy weight lying across him and that both his hands were resting on that person. Kougaiji lay across his chest, eyes closed, breathing deeply. He wasn't asleep, Hakkai could tell that from his breathing, but it was clear that he was close to exhaustion himself and trying to regain the strength to move at least. Hakkai could feel that one of his hands still rested upon Kougaiji's leg, high on his thigh, close to the join of leg and groin. His other was tangled in the long red hair.

He slowly removed h is hand from Kougaiji's head, feeling those soft strands slip from between his fingers, making him shiver in the aftershock and then removed his other hand as well.

"Can I assist you?" he asked quietly, not wishing to sound condescending to the man who had just saved his life.

Kougaiji pulled himself up with a groan. "I can manage." he muttered, sitting back and swaying a little.

Hakkai sat up and reached out to steady him, holding him by the shoulders. They stayed like that for a moment, faces close together, red eyes gazing deeply into green. The tableau held for a moment and then Hakkai dropped his hand and reached out to grasp the discarded flask, removing the lid and holding it out to Kougaiji.

"Drink," he instructed. "You'll feel better."

Kougaiji didn't argue and took it, tipping it up and Hakkai watched his throat as he swallowed.

"So what's your next move?" Kougaiji asked, moving away from Hakkai a little.

Hakkai didn't take exception at that, understanding perfectly Kougaiji's need for space after such an experience.

"Thanks to you I should have a good chance of trying to make it back to town." he replied.

"You really think you'll make it?"

Hakkai shrugged, with a small smile. "I have to try."

Kougaiji scratched at his chin, obviously thinking. "If we combined our powers we could probably knock off all those zombies, if we could get most of them into one place." he said slowly.

"What did you have in mind?" Hakkai asked, more than a little interested. He really didn't know why Kougaiji was here but he didn't think this problem with the zombies was of his doing. It was too cruel for one thing and didn't fit with what Hakkai knew of the demon prince.

"If you can summon up all your chi into one power ball I could summon my demon and join it inside it. It will take everything we both have to hold it there, but that will keep it contained, building up its power. When as many of the zombies are all together we can send it straight into them. The power released will completely disintegrate every one of them so there's no chance they can come back."

Hakkai thought about it. It could work, in theory but Kougaiji was right about one thing; it would take all their power to pull it off. He wondered if he would have the strength.

"Well?" Kougaiji asked, looking at him intently.

"Let's do it," Hakkai said with an even smile.

Kougaiji gave him a sharp nod and stood, extending a hand to help Hakkai to his feet. Hakkai turned to pick up the cloak he'd been lying on.

"Leave it," Kougaiji said. Hakkai looked at him. "I'll never get those stains out."

"I'll get you a replacement." Hakkai promised.

"Whatever," was Kougaiji's off-hand response. "Let's get moving."

-oOo-

Goku hunched down, gazing across the town below. It had been a hard fight every step of the way but he was almost there. The only problem was that he didn't know what to do now. There was no sign of Gojyo or Sanzo and no way of knowing if they were alive or not either. He could only hope they were.

He also worried about Hakkai. He had hoped to find the healer already here waiting for him but he had seen no sign of him yet. He was torn between going into the town to find Sanzo and turning back into the forest to look for Hakkai. Judging from the number of zombies he would not be able to battle them all on his own and survive. Certainly not that and be able to rescue his friends.

He scrubbed his hair furiously as his head began to hurt. He wasn't any good at strategy, that wasn't his strong point at all. Give him something to fight, or point him in the direction of a good meal and he knew exactly what to do, but working out a concerted plan of attack? Just not his forte. That was what Hakkai was good at so why wasn't he here?!

"Sitting there isn't going to change things," a soft voice said behind him making him spin around and land on his butt as he stared at the two people standing there.

"Man, Hakkai, where the hell have you been?!" he said, getting to his feet and glaring at his friend.

Then he realised just who was standing beside Hakkai and leapt back. "And what the hell is he doing here?!" he almost shouted, pointing a finger at Kougaiji who just stared down his nose at the shorter youth.

"Shut up or do you want to bring every zombie down on us!" Kougaiji scowled.

"It's all right, Goku," Hakkai assured his friend. "Kougaiji's here to help."

"Help? He's probably the one that set all this spooky stuff up just so he could lay his hands on Sanzo's sutra!"

"I have no time for this," Kougaiji turned as though to leave when Hakkai placed a hand on his arm, halting his progress.

"Please," he said with a small smile. "Please stay."

Goku looked on in amazement. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. First, the shock of Kougaiji actually being here, then that he was also here with Hakkai, and now Hakkai actually begging him to help? And even more unnerving was that Kougaiji was actually listening?! The world according to Goku had just turned on its head!

Kougaiji gave a sigh and turned back, throwing a scowl at Goku. "Fine, I'll help just as we planned."

"You have a plan?" Goku's ears pricked up. A plan was good. Yay for Hakkai!

Hakkai placed a hand on Goku's shoulder, peering down at the town below. "Have you seen any sign of Gojyo and Sanzo?" he asked.

"Nothing so far, but there's this crowd of zombies over there," Goku pointed Hakkai in the right direction. "and they look like they're trying to dig or something."

"They might have chased your friends into a cellar or some such." Kougaiji commented, watching the scene below also.

"You could be right. That makes this a lot easier though with them safely out of the way." Hakkai said.

Kougaiji looked over at him. "Are you willing to risk it? What if that's got nothing to do with them?"

Hakkai looked over at him. "The zombies only go for living flesh which means if they are making that much effort then there must be someone down there."

"Doesn't mean that it's them."

"No, it doesn't." Now Hakkai's smile turned chilly. "But if it is not, then that means that they are already dead."

Kougaiji just looked at him in silence, reading more there than what Hakkai was saying. He turned away as he spoke. "Fine. Let's get this set up."

"Agreed," Hakkai said.

"What? What?" Goku was almost jumping up and down in his frustration. He really hadn't followed most of what the two men had been discussing. It seemed that he had missed something. Now he wanted in on the action.

Hakkai smiled down at his younger compatriot. "Goku, we want you to act as bait and draw as many of the zombies back into the town as you can. It's going to be very dangerous. Can you do it?"

"Well, sure I can. That's not going to be a problem. They just keep coming and coming anyway." Goku said dismissively.

"Yes, but you have to get as many as you can to come out of the forest into town and keep them there, without them catching you." Hakkai stressed.

"Don't sweat it," Goku said with a grin as he wiped at his nose. "Leave it to me." He turned to head back into the trees when he paused and turned back. "But what happens once I've got them all back in town?"

"Now he thinks to ask." Kougaiji muttered under his breath.

Goku stuck his tongue out but any comment he would have made was forestalled by Hakkai's answer.

"Kougaiji and I are going to combine our powers to create a very powerful fire ball. The intensity will completely destroy the zombies so I want you to watch out for Hakuryu. I'll send him to get you so as soon as you see him you have to get out of the town quickly." He leant forward and placed both hands on Goku's shoulders, looking down at him seriously. "I mean it, Goku. As soon as you see Hakuryu you have to get out of there as fast as you possibly can. What Kougaiji and I are attempting is very powerful and very dangerous and we won't be able to control it for long so you have to get out of the way immediately."

"I got it," Goku said, nodding his head, eyes serious in return. "I'll do my bit. You guys just be ready to toast them!"

"We'll be ready." Kougaiji said flatly.

"See ya!" and Goku disappeared into the foliage.

"Think he can really do it?" Kougaiji asked.

"If anyone can, it's Goku." Hakkai assured him. He reached up to scratch at Hakuryu's chin feeling the little dragon rub against his finger. He'd been so relieved when Hakuryu had found him as Kougaiji and he had made their way to this place. He had obviously managed to avoid the zombies also. Of course, being able to fly was an advantage but it wouldn't help if they were able to use bows.

"Now, Hakuryu, when I tell you, you will have to fly like the wind to warn Goku and then don't come back here. Stay with Goku and get out of the way. Understand?"

The white dragon cheeped concernedly, stretching his long neck out to rub along Hakkai's cheek.

Hakkai smiled and stroked him. "Don't worry. I'll join you afterwards but you have to stay out of the way and it will be too dangerous here."

Hakuryu cheeped again but nodded his head, showing his understanding of his instructions.

Kougaiji and Hakkai settled down to watch the next moments. At intermittent intervals Goku would appear in the town followed closely by a group of zombies. He would fight, lead them, sometimes drive them towards their fellow deformed townsmen where they would mill in confusion for a moment before joining in the digging whilst Goku disappeared once more back into the surrounding trees. This continued until there was a goodly number of zombies present in the township. Hakkai saw Goku looking around and guessed that the youth didn't think there were any more in the forest worth going back for.

"Right, this is it." he said, standing and raising his arm. Hakuryu hopped on to it. "Go, Hakuryu," he instructed. The dragon sprung into the sky and winged its way rapidly down towards the town where Goku was fending off some of the zombies who had been drawn to him by his presence.

"Ready?" Kougaiji asked, standing also so the two of them stood shoulder to shoulder.

Hakkai smiled at him. "Of course. Allow me," and he closed his eyes to concentrate.

Swiftly he drew on the well of power that dwelt within him. He could feel his own chi mixing with that Kougaiji had given to him, a curious blending of colours and feelings that made his entire body burn. He stretched his hands out before him, extending the ball of energy, letting it grow bigger and bigger.

"Is that large enough?" he asked a little breathlessly from his exertions.

"See if you can make it a bit bigger," Kougaiji said, looking it over.

"So size does matter after all," Hakkai said with a small laugh as he concentrated again.

Kougaiji shot him a brief grin which almost broke his concentration completely as it was the first time he had seen the demon prince smile. Not only that, but it had seemed such a natural one.

He sharpened his focus again and poured more energy into the power ball before he was forced to stop. "That's all I can do," he said raggedly. "If I expend any more I won't be able to hold it."

"That'll do," Kougaiji said with a nod and now it was his turn to close his eyes and begin his chant.

Hakkai listened as he went through the summoning spell, unafraid, knowing that Kougaiji had complete control over the creature that he called forth.

As it appeared he watched as Kougaiji forced it into the glowing sphere that he held steady, although he almost lost his control as the creature was fully enclosed within it and the golden glow was now laced with flickering red flames racing over its surface.

"Hold it!" Kougaiji said sharply and Hakkai tightened his mental grip on their weapon. Beads of perspiration dotted his brow and a quick glance showed Kougaiji showing signs of strain also.

"Now?" Hakkai asked.

"Now!" Kougaiji commanded and in unison they sent the fire ball hurtling towards the town below.

The explosion was something to behold, the backlash of power sending both Kougaiji and Hakkai tumbling to the ground, knocked completely off their feet. Slowly they sat up and viewed the damage below. There wasn't a sign of a single zombie, nor was there much left of the town either.

"That, I must say, was rather effective." Hakkai said calmly as he got to his knees.

"Well, it certainly did the job." Kougaiji said, standing and brushing his clothes down.

"Since that is now over what…."

Hakkai turned as he spoke and saw the dark shadowy figure rising up behind Kougaiji, the gleam on metal and he leapt forward with out a thought. He knocked the startled Kougiji to one side as he thrust out one hand to strike hard against the chest of the youkkai standing there, pouring a burst of energy into the palm of his hand which blasted a hole directly through the chest.

The youkkai coughed blood that streamed over Hakkai's hand, eyes staring.

"Damn you," he gasped as he reached out to grasp at Hakkai as he slid towards the ground. "And I almost had him."

His dead form crumpled to the ground to lie sprawled there.

Kougaiji had got to his feet and now joined Hakkai.

"An acquaintance of yours, I believe?" Hakkai queried.

"No-one I knew personally." Kougaiji answered. He stooped down and searched the body, pulling something from one pocket which Hakkai couldn't see and concealing it quickly. "I was sent here to try and find him, with instructions to bring him back alive."

"Oh, sorry about that then." Hakkai said with a small laugh. "My bad."

"No matter," Kougaiji brushed his apology aside. "It doesn't really concern me. In fact I shall take great delight in reporting that it was you who killed him."

"Ah, well, then that's all right." Hakkai said, still smiling. "Glad to be of service."

"Hakkai!" A voice echoed through the trees making them both turn.

"That's sounds like my cue to leave." Hakkai said, turning back to Kougaiji. "Thank you for your assistance in this matter."

"Yeah," Kougaiji said, looking a little uncomfortable. "Don't mention it."

"Of course."

Kougaiji fixed him with a steely glare. "I mean it, don't mention it. I don't need word getting out about this mess or my involvement in it."

Hakkai inclined his head. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Fine. Well, I'll be going."

"By the way," Hakkai's voice halted him. "I would like to at least give you my personal thanks."

Kougaiji turned to face him.

Hakkai looked back, completely serious. "Thank you."

Kougaiji just nodded and turned away again. Moments before he was lost from view Hakkai heard him say, "And my thanks to you. So we're even." Then he was gone.

"Hey, Hakkai!" Goku suddenly burst into view. "Come on, we've got to find the others!" He suddenly looked around. "Where's Kougaiji gone?"

Hakkai draped an arm around Goku's shoulders and turned him so they could head back to town. "He had to go. He's got things to do."

"Ah, man, I thought we could have lunch together!"

Hakkai smiled at his young friend. "I'm sure we'll meet again soon."

"Yeah, that's true enough!" Goku said brightly as he slipped from Hakkai's grasp and raced away. "Hurry up so we can find the others and get out of this creepy place! We've got to find something to eat 'cause I'm starving!"

"I'm right behind you!" Hakkai called out, following a little more slowly.

He cast one last glance towards the dark forest and then turned back to the task at hand which was to find their friends. There was certainly no doubt that he would be seeing Kougaiji again.


End file.
